[Verse 1]
They said I was in a gang, ask the FBI
They thought I was a drug dealer but couldn't tell me why
They thought I was a spy, they said I was a hacker
Suspected me of what, exactly what are you after?

Read my profile, it's written in the print
Made in the U.S.A. if you didn't get the hint
You wanna get the power first you gotta get the mint
My ambitions as a hustler, shout out to 50 Cent

[Chorus]
Disgruntled secret squirrel, aggravated stalker, (Huh)
Lookie Lue, Mr. Fast Talker, (Yea)
Crooked lookin' spook and a gangsta, (Okay)
Cleverly disguised as a prankster
You take money on the side but won't save a dime
'Cuz you blow your cover 99 percent of the time

[Verse 2]
I was at the bus station when I met a special agent
He said hello, I said hi, really felt like an occasion
Don't mean to sound rude or rain on your investigation
Mr. Big Brother, but you don't understand the equation

When investigators show up, it makes you really wonder
All that bitcoin training must have put me in a blunder
Said his name was Augustine and he had my number
But he didn't know I knew what he'd Done to get the thunder
Pulled a rabbit from a hat and let the cat up out the bag
Legal documents you say? Well, would you take a look at that
Went from a CO in a max to working for the feds
Someone fabricated intel but the coin landed on heads

Special Ed said I had way too many breaks
Though it's been over a decade since I made them mistakes
Little did he know blackjack wasn't the case
So all the time they spent playing games went to a waste

[Chorus]
Disgruntled secret squirrel, aggravated stalker, (Huh)
Lookie Lue, Mr. Fast Talker, (Yea)
Crooked lookin' spook and a gangsta, (Okay)
Cleverly disguised as a prankster
You take money on the side but won't save a dime
'Cuz you blow your cover 99 percent of the time

[Verse 3]
Disgruntled secret squirrel, aggravated stalker
Creepy ass peepin' Tom, Mr. Fast Talker
Freakazoid weirdo, spooky lookin' crook
Psycho circus freak who doesn't do things by the book

You do meth with informants you coerce for sexual favors
Then set up surveillance by paying off the neighbors
The reason people ask for the Inspector General's help
'Cuz the subject's not the issue, the issue's your mental health
You're a looney tune, who manipulate's his fellows
Tryin' to get promoted but your heart is made of jello
And the difference is, you're a clown wannabe hypnotist
I'm a journalist, pointing out that you're ridiculous

Rodent creature, parasite looking for a host
Fake intellectual who desecrates his oath
You must be seeing red, and I know you're feeling blue
"Cuz this funky white russian's more American than you, (asshole...)

[Chorus]
Disgruntled secret squirrel, aggrevated stalker, (Huh)
Lookie Lue, Mr. Fast Talker, (Yea)
Crooked lookin' spook and a gangsta, (Okay)
Cleverly disguised as a prankster
You take money on the side but won't save a dime
'Cuz you blow your cover 99 percent of the time

[Outro]
Oh come on, where's your sense of humor?

Music Used: Behind Closed Doors by Otis McDonald
Creative Commons 3.0