Ryan Gosling
The Nice Guys - Script
Estabilishing shot of Los Angeles, 1977 (title card reading that shows up, followed by the credits that roll until the next cut to black)
Cut to HOUSE, NIGHT
A young boy, Bobby (Ty Simpkins) sneaks into his father's room and takes out a porno magazine from under his bed. Bobby checks out the centerfold, adult film star Misty Mountains (Murielle Telio). In the distance, a car rolls down a hill. The car then crashes through Bobby's house and out into a ditch. He runs outside to check it out.

MISTY MOUNTAINS lies twisted against the wreckage, completely n***, resembling the centerfold Bobby just saw. Bobby can't help staring, he tries to make sense of what he's seeing: that's Misty Mountains. That’s her in the flesh.
Her breath comes in hitches, gulps. Eyes, swimming. unfocused. She notices BOBBY. Fixes him with a pain-wracked stare. Says:

MISTY MOUNTAINS: How... do you like my car... Big Boy..?

SIRENS, approaching. She convulses. Spasms once, twice, BLOOD -pots from her mouth. She dies staring at him. The strangest moment in this kid's young life.The two of them in tableau, SIRENS, closer now. Wind, gusting. We hold—. And then Bobby does something odd, He grips his pajama top, Yanks it over his head, Shivers, it's cold, steps up next to the corpse... Delicately lays the fabric across her. Covers her up.

Black. Cut to...
CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYS as a video titled "Pool Side Manners" begins. Three children walk down a staircase, towels in their backs.
NARRATOR: Bart, Sarah and Jonathan are spending their leisure day at the city pool. Aren't they lucky?

They play with a beach ball and jump in the pool. As they climb up the stairs, the narration returns.
NARRATOR:Let's see what they have brought with them to the pool today.

Bart with his white towel spread out.
NARRATOR: Bart has a plain towel.

A "ding" is heard as text reading "Adjective!" "PLAIN" appear on screen and Bart smiles. Next, Sarah with a yellow towel.
NARRATOR: Sarah has a bright towel.
Again with "Adjective!" "BRIGHT". Next, Jonathan with a rainbow-colored towel.
NARRATOR: Jonathan has a gay towel.
Cut to the classroom watching this cheesy video, everyone laughing
As the camera focuses on a certain female student - in front of a classmate who falls off his chair laughing - we then hear a voiceover by JACKSON HEALY(Russell Crowe)...
JACKSON HEALY (VO): There's something wrong with kids today. They know too much.

Cut to: OUTSIDE SCHOOL
The girl is walking out the bus, saying goodbye to her classmates. Jackson still talking.
HEALY (VO): Take this little gem. She's 13. Already she's got herself a winner.
The girl approaches a nearby convertible, GIGGLING all the way as she talks to the driver. After a school bus passes behind her, we see Healy in a nearby bench, watching her as he reads the newspaper.
HEALY (VO): Sure, he's three times her age, but he's got money for pot and he drives a nice car.

Inside the creep's house, the two in the couch smoking pot.
CREEP: Who's the man, baby? Who's the man?
GIRL: You are. You're the man.
CREEP: Yeah. That's right. That's right. I'm the man.
GIRL: Oh, yes. You're my foxy-fox.
Pan to Jackson waiting in the house's garage, eating a sandwich and throwing the crumbs on the car
HEALY (VO): I'm not saying I wasn't a little bastard. I mean, I grew up Irish. The Bronx. Riverdale. I don't have a job title, I'm not in the Yellow Pages.
The girl leaves in her bicycle. Healy walks towards the house.
HEALY (VO): But if you got trouble with someone, someone's messing around with your underage daughter, you might ask around for me, Jackson Healy.
Cut to INSIDE CREEP'S HOUSE
Knocking is heard on the door, the creep opens it, Healy is there waiting.
HEALY: Are you the man?
CREEP: What?
Healy slugs him, breaking his jaw
HEALY-Stay away from little girls.
Healy walking out again the house again as the narration resumes.
HEALY (VO): Love. Grand, isn't it? I was in love once. Marriage is buying a house for someone you hate. Remember that.
Cut to INSIDE MARCH'S HOUSE
Television news, interview in a Car Exposition
REPORTER: I'm here with a representative of the Detroit Auto Manufacturers,Mr Bergen Paulsen. And, Mr Paulsen,
glad to have you here. I understand that you're in town
for the big show. Tell us a little bit about it.
BERGEN PAULSEN: Take a look at this outstanding line-up we have here for you. These cars are so incredible, they practically drive themselves.
REPORTER: I do have to ask you about the allegations about collusion in regards to a smog control device, the recent lawsuit against the Big Three.
BERGEN: I'm not gonna dignify that...

We see this report is being watched by HOLLAND MARCH (Ryan Gosling), who is fully clothed inside a filled bathtub. TELEPHONE RINGING. The answering machine beeps.
HOLLAND MARCH (VO): You have reached March Investigations. This machine records messages. Wait for the tone and speak clearly.
March closes his eyes, clearly his head hurts. ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS.
HOLLY (VO): This is your daughter speaking. Thursday, as you may remember, is my birthday. Please give accordingly. Also I hope you didn't forget that you're supposed to be working today.
March comes out of the tub, sits against the wall. His hand has a scribbled message: "YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY :)" He sighs.
MARCH (VO): I wish I wished for things, man.

Cut to GAS STATION
A smog-covered gas station, filled with cars, with plenty more in a line waiting for their turn.
HOLLAND (VO):My folks, they told me to reach for the stars, and then my pals in the force said reach for the brass ring, and then my wife died and I reached for whatever came in a gallon and cost a buck fifty. She used to say I got no follow-through. I hit nails in halfway and stop. She's not wrong.
In his car, March is shaving while reading the newspaper, in a page with the headline "Brazil's killer bee rampage continues". Everyone else honks as a fight starts between two drivers.
MAN: Hey, there's a line, asshole!
MAN 2:Hey, what are you doing?
HOLLAND (VO):They implemented a no-fault divorce here a couple of years back that really screwed things up. A lot of private cops folded.
March GROANS as he injures himself with the electric razor
HOLLAND (VO):Not me. I got this guy in a local retirement park. He kicks a few cases my way.
Cut to HOUSE
Holland takes notes from a potential costumer.
WOMAN: It's my husband. Fred's his name.
HOLLAND:Fred.
WOMAN: He's gone missing.
MARCH: Missing?
WOMAN: I'm terribly worried. It's just Fred's never been
gone this long before.
Holland notices a urn of ashes with Fred's name
HOLLAND:How long has he been missing?
WOMAN: Since the funeral.
HOLLAND:Well, I can start right away.

Cut to: STREET
Healy leaves his car, approaches the young Amelia (Margaret Qualley) in her own.
JACKSON: Amelia?
AMELIA: Mr Healy. Um, I think there's two of them, but I only have the name and description for the one. You can take care of them?
She delivers a note in a paper shaped like a pink cow.
HEALY: Consider it done.
AMELIA: Thank you. I feel better already.
HEALY: It's my job.
AMELIA: (SIGHS) They've been following me around and asking my friends where I live. I've just been really scared, but, um, you make me feel safe.
HEALY: You're short.
AMELIA: I'm what?
HEALY: You're $7 short.
AMELIA: (SNIFFLES) Right, um... Sorry. Um...

A flyer for Healy's services is seen on Amelia's back seat. Cut to him in the car after she gave him the money, with Amelia seen driving away. Healy again starts a voiceover.
JACKSON (VO): Sometimes I feel okay about things.Not often. Could try for an investigator's licence. Become a P.I. Those guys help people. Maybe then I'd feel good in the morning.

Cut to: SEX SHOP
March is talking to the cashier, even showing a photocopy of a driver's license.
HOLLAND: She's got dark hair, about yea high. Name's Amelia. She might be from the neighbourhood.
CASHIER: No, can't help you, buddy.
HOLLAND: No?
CASHIER: Sorry.
March leaves the shop, passes by plenty of porn ads on the way to the street (which has a prostitute, among other sleazy people) and returns with the monologue.
HOLLAND (voiceover): I work in a cesspool. Sex. More sex. My wife, she used to say I make a living off rumpy-pumpy. Whatever. She was English. I don't know what the fuck it means either. The point is I don't care if Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick, I just wanna know who he did it with and get the pictures.

Cut to: BAR, INT (NIGHT)
BARTENDER: Yeah, I think I remember her. Amelia, right?
Was in here three or four nights ago. Drank bourbon martinis.
MARCH: Well, that's disgusting. Any chance she, uh, paid with a credit card?
BARTENDER: As in, am I gonna pull the receipts for you? Fat fucking chance.
He SNORTS before seeing March has folded a dollar bill into a shirt.
BARTENDER: Is that a shirt?
MARCH: Yeah.
BARTENDER: It's very pretty.
MARCH: I made it myself.
BARTENDER: Yeah? (takes out a baseball bat) I made this.
Cut to: BAR, EXT (NIGHT)
Later, the bartender has finished another work day, and leaves through the backdoor. March is waiting nearby for his departure
HOLLAND (VO): Look, I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying you don't gotta think on your feet, bend a few rules maybe, but it's worth it, as long as you get the results.
March goes up the stairs. He carefully wraps a cloth around his hands to protect them, punches through the glass... and slices his entires wrist open on the jagged shards.
HOLLAND: Okay, that's it. That's a lot of blood. That is a lot... That's a lot of blood.
Holland falls into the garbage cans below.

Cut to AMBULANCE
The SIREN is WAILING; Holland is inside, on a breathing apparatus, receiving first aid on the way to the hospital.
EMT: We're losing him. Go! Hurry up! Now, don't go anywhere. Don't... Stay with me. Stay with me! Sir.
Some time afterwards, outside the hospital, March is in a wheelchair, being pushed by a nun.
NUN:Now, tell me, are you willing to find God?
MARCH: Look, I'm trying to find Amelia.

Cut to: STREET, DAY
NEWSCASTER (VO): Good morning, Los Angeles. Today, yet another stage-two smog alert. The A.Q.M.D. has cautioned residents not to stay outside or engage in unnecessary exercise before 6:00 p.m. In other news, a police spokesman says he has not ruled out foul play in the death of adult film star Misty Mountains, whose car went off-road in the early hours of last Tuesday. And now back to America's favourite family, The Waltons.
Cut to HEALY'S APT
Healy wakes up, puts his watch and shoes, brushes his teeth, feeds his fish, and gets a "word of the day calendar"
HEALY: "Equanimity. "The quality of being calm and even-tempered." He accepted her betrayal with equanimity.

Flashback, Healy and his wife in a restaurant. As he drinks...
HEALY'S WIFE: Jack, I'm fucking your dad.
Healy spits and ends up throwing the rest of the water on her lap.
HEALY: What?

Back to the present. The television keeps playing, Healy pushes a switch and all the lights and electrical appliances shut down. Healy leaves his apartment.

Cut to MARCH'S STREET
Healy is seen driving to March's house. Along the way, iIn an empty lot, he sees a girl - Holly March (Angourie Rice) - mimicking opening a door and sitting somewhere to read. Outside March's house, Healy checks the address, and then rings the doorbell.
MARCH: Who is it?
HEALY: Messenger service. Holland March home?
March opens the door, Healy tackles him
MARCH: What the fuck?
HEALY: Mr March, we're gonna play a game.
MARCH: I think you have the wrong house.
MARCH is thrown around.
HEALY: It's called, "Shut up unless you're me."
MARCH: (GROANING) I love that game.
Healy gets a business card.
HEALY: You're a private investigator?
MARCH: Look, there's 20 bucks in there, all right? Just take it.
HEALY: No, I'm not here for that. I told you, I'm a messenger. You can afford to live like this as a P.I.?
MARCH: What's the message?
HEALY: Oh, right, right. (CLEARS THROAT) Stop looking for Amelia, all right?
MARCH: I'm not even looking for Amelia. She's a person of interest, man. Fine. I'm done. Put a fork in me. Don't really put a fork in me.
HEALY: Amelia's gonna be very happy that you got the message so quickly. It's gonna make her smile.
MARCH: That's good.
HEALY: Now, (CLEARS THROAT) I got one more thing I need to ask you before we're done here.
MARCH: You wanna know who hired me.
HEALY: Bingo. Yeah. Now, we can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way.
MARCH: Glenn.
HEALY: What?
MARCH: Lily Glenn. Two N's. Old lady hired me to find her niece on Tuesday.
HEALY: You just gave up your client.
MARCH: Made a discretionary revelation.
March starts to get up
HEALY: No. No, you just gave her up. I asked you one simple question. (EXCLAIMS) You gave me all the information.
MARCH: I thought that's what you wanted.
HEALY: What?
Now standing, March tries to get a pistol hidden in the cookie jar, points it to Healy, and ends up falling to the ground with a punch.
HEALY: Now, I'm very sorry that you didn't get the message.
MARCH: Me, too. (SNIFFS) But I get it now. (CLEARS THROAT) I get it. I dig it.
March tries crawling towards the tossed gun, Healy kicks it away.
MARCH: Shit!
HEALY: What about now? You get the message now?
MARCH: Yep.
HEALY: Are you sure?
MARCH: Yeah, I'm cool.
HEALY: All right. Give me your left arm.
MARCH: Huh?
HEALY: Your left arm. Give me your left arm. This one.
MARCH: No!
HEALY: Yeah, come on.
MARCH: No! Get... No!
Healy gets the arm
HEALY: Did you cut yourself?
MARCH: I'm dealing with an injury.
HEALY: Right, look, when you're talking to your doctor, just tell him you have a spiral fracture of the left radius.
MARCH: No! No.
HEALY: Deep breath.
MARCH: No!
As Healy twists the arm, we hear the BONE CRACK. March screams like a little girl.
HEALY: Do you mind if I have an apple?
(GROANS)
HEALY: All right, Mr March. You have a good day, okay?
GRUNTING

Cut to MARCH'S STREET
As Healy approaches his car, Holly comes near him with a brown bag.
HOLLY: Hi.
HEALY: Hey.
HOLLY: Want a Yoo-hoo?
HEALY: A Yoo-hoo? Are you kidding?
HOLLY: Oh, yeah.
Holly gives him a bottled chocolate milk.
HEALY: You know, I haven't had one of these in about 30 years.
HOLLY: Are you a friend of my dad's?
HEALY: Yeah, yeah. We're business associates. He's inside resting. Didn't I see you crawling round a vacant lot a couple of blocks over?
HOLLY: Um, maybe. I read there sometimes.
HEALY: Right. "It's me-he for Yoo-hoo!" Thanks again.
HOLLY: Bye.


CUT TO: THE COMEDY STORE
Healy is seen entering the famed comedy club carrying a crate of Yoo-hoos. A comedian is on stage.
STAND-UP COMIC: Because the gas prices are up 16 cents a gallon, uh, the US now is looking into alternative fuels.
There's a process where you can put corn in and gas comes out.I'm no scientist,but that's been my process
with corn for years.
LAUGHTER is heard as Healy walks back to his apartment in the club's back. Outside the door, he meets an OLDER black GUY (Keith David).
OLDER GUY: Hey.
HEALY: It's not a public area up here.
BLACK MAN: Wow. You got like an apartment up here?
HEALY: If you're looking for the restroom, back down the stairs.
a GUN COCKING is heard. Another guy (Beau Knapp) points it at Healy's head
OTHER MAN: We're looking for Amelia.
He hits Healy, who proceeds to drop the crate on the floor, smashing the bottles

Cut to MRS GLENN's HOUSE
MRS GLENN: I'm telling you, I saw her, Mr March. I didn't imagine it. I saw my Misty alive.
MARCH: Mrs Glenn, be reasonable. This is a high-profile case. Your niece is a very famous... Actress, and the head medical examiner ID'd her himself.
MRS GLENN: I saw her through the front window.
MARCH:You didn't.
MRS GLENN: Clear as day. She was wearing...
MARCH:The pinstriped suit. I know. Very specific.
MRS GLENN: She was writing something and then she came out and she drove away and this was two days after the accident. And I thought that you said you found her. Now, what was that bonus payment?
MARCH:I never said I found her. I said I was tracking the girl that you saw and that was probably this young lady, Amelia.
MRS GLENN: Why don't you believe me?
MARCH:Mrs Glenn, Misty's dead. She died in that accident. I never should have taken your money in the first place. I'm very sorry about that.
MRS GLENN: Even... No, even if this Amelia girl isn't my niece, she might know something. Please, please, will you keep looking?
MARCH:No.
MRS GLENN:Mr March...
MRS GLENN CLEARS THROAT, OPENS HER CHECK BOOK. He backs out on leaving.

Cut to OUTSIDE MRS. GLENN'S HOUSE
March leaves Mrs. Glenn's house and goes to his car, where Holly is in the driving wheel.
MARCH: Can I ask you a question? Tell me the truth. And don't take it easy on me just 'cause I'm your father. You just tell it to me straight. Am I a bad person?
HOLLY: Yes.
MARCH:(SCOFFS) Just drive.
ENGINE STARTS, Holly drives away

Back to Healy's apartment
MAN: I'm gonna ask you again. Where is Amelia?
HEALY: I would like to help you, but I just don't know anybody called Amelia.
MAN:Oh. Okay. (kicks Healy in the face) You don't talk, I'm gonna have to start breaking your fingers. (LAUGHING) You understand?
HEALY:Yes, I understand.
OLDER GUY: Hey, hotshot, come on in here. I found something hidden in the cabinet.
MAN:Really? (MAN SCOFFS, points to Healy) Watch him.
HEALY:Oh, no. (GROANS) Hey, don't open that because that's not mine. It belongs to a friend. I just, uh... I look after it for him. But it's one of those bags. If you try to open it...
(an EXPLOSION is heard. One of those security dye packs blew up in the guy's face, turning half of it blue. For convenience's sake, let's call him BLUE FACE now.)
BLUE FACE: Oh, fuck! Fuck!
OLDER GUY: Shit!
BLUE FACE:(GROANING) Motherfucker! Motherfucker! I can't see nothing.
HEALY:Yeah.
BLUEFACE:Oh, God. What the fuck?
Starts washing his face with the aquarium water
BLUEFACE:Okay. Oh, yeah.
HEALY:(CLEARS THROAT) You know that colour doesn't come off, right?
Blueface SPITS
HEALY:I tried to tell you.
BLUE FACE: You tried to tell me?
Blue Face CHUCKLES, goes to the fish tank, grabs a fish and throws it at Healy
BLUE FACE: Fuck you!
HEALY:Hey, hey. Oh, no! Hey! Not the fish. Come on. Hey, can you ask this guy to behave like a professional?
Older Guy just throws his arms up
HEALY:You know, kid, when I get that gun off you, it's gonna be your dinner.
BLUE FACE: Dinner? (LAUGHING) It's fucking... You're funny. You're funny.
He goes back to the tank and gets the other fish.
HEALY:Don't... Don't...
BLUE FACE: Come on, fish. You want some fucking dinner? Do you want some dinner?
HEALY:Why are you doing this? This is not gonna help you.
BLUE FACE: There you go.
HEALY:Now, come on.
Blue Face chucks the fish on Healy's chest
BLUE FACE: You're gonna eat that thing, you fucking fuck!
HEALY:Look, you gotta stop and think about this, all right? When you came here tonight, was this what you wanted to happen? What, you came here to make me eat fish? To shoot me? Look, if you come in here, you beat up on me, you trash the place, I understand, I get it, it's part of the job. I accept it, all right? But what did you do? You did something different from that, didn't you? Right? You pissed me off. You made an enemy. Now, even if I knew something, I wouldn't tell you, kid. And you know why I wouldn't tell you? And this is... It's not my only reason, but it is a principle reason. You know, I wouldn't tell you 'cause you're a fucking moron.
Healy flips the switch, everything turns on
BLUE FACE: What the...
Blue Face tries to shoot Healy, hits a woman in a nearby building, who screams
OLDER GUY: You stupid son of a bitch.
Healy grabs a shotgun, Older Guy and Blue Face run away as he shoots twice, only wrecking the apartment even more

Cut to BOWLING ALLEY, DAY
UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING - namely, Kiss, "Rock And Roll All Night" - as March's car approaches a bowling alley. Inside, he's with Holly and her friends for her birthday. The girls scream a lot.
GIRL 1: Six. I'm a six.
GIRL 2: I'm a seven!
GIRL 1: Six.
GIRL 2: Seven!
MARCH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jesus Christ! One at a time!
The girls all go silent
JANET: You took the Lord's name in vain.
MARCH: No, I didn't, Janet. I found it very useful, actually. Okay, Janet?
GIRLS GIGGLING as they eat cake and ice cream
GIRL 3: Birthday girl!
Janet tries to bowl, accidentally throws the ball backwards, hitting the girls. ALL SCREAM.

Cut to: BATHROOM
March is seating in the toilet, smoking while reading a magazine. He sees a pair of feet stop in front of his stall.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
HEALY: March. Jack Healy. Don't get upset. I'm not here to hurt you. I just wanna ask you a question.
March opens the door pointing his gun at Healy.
HEALY: Hey, no.
MARCH: How stupid do you think I am?I got a licence to carry, motherfucker. Ever since your little visit the other day, this little baby's gonna stay right here.
The stall door closes. As March opens it again, his cigarette falls between his legs into the toilet.
MARCH: Fuck, fuck.
The door continues to close despite March's attempts. March decides to get up and put on his pants and make it easier - struggling to juggle gun and magazine as he does so.
MARCH - Look away. Look...
Healy turns around.
HEALY: You know there's a mirror here, right?
MARCH: Close your eyes.
March gives up on pulling his pants.
MARCH:Fucking damn it. Forget it. You know what? Turn around.
HEALY: Can I open my eyes?
MARCH: Yeah, open your eyes.
March covering his junk with the magazine - an issue of Hours with Richard Nixon on the cover - while pointing the gun at Healy.
MARCH:What do you want?
HEALY: I want you to find Amelia.

Back to the alley
March and Healy are on a table
MARCH: So you think these guys are gonna hurt Amelia?
HEALY:Sure, after they're done killing her. You know, I asked around about you. There's a couple of people I trust say you're pretty good at this.
MARCH: Well, that's surprising. I would have thought your job ended with breaking my fucking arm.
HEALY:(CHUCKLES) Well, you know,technically it did. I'm off the clock. This is a separate situation.
MARCH: (CLICKS TONGUE) I'm not buying this nice guy act, pal. She owes you money, doesn't she? You're coming to collect? (Healy sighs)You want me to finger her so you can throw acid in her face? Well, no.
HEALY:No, she paid me up front, actually, you know. What it is, for me,is I like where I live and I don't wanna move. So, two days in advance. $400. (BREATHES DEEPLY) Plus whatever the old lady's giving you.
MARCH: Old lady? Fuck you, old lady. You broke my arm. I quit, remember?
HEALY:So call her up, get back on the case. Get paid twice.
MARCH: Wow, that is very telling. I'm a detective, and we have a code. We don't do that. But interesting. Good to know.
HEALY:Okay.
MARCH: Good to know.
HEALY:You were looking for Amelia, right?
MARCH: Yes and no.
HEALY:Excuse me?
MARCH: My profession is very complicated, okay? It's nuanced.
HEALY:What does that mean?
MARCH: Fuck it.Last week, this old broad comes to me and she asks me to find her niece, Misty Mountains.
HEALY:Misty Mountains? The porno actress? The one that died?
MARCH: The young lady. The porno young lady. But, yeah, she died in a crash and then two days later her aunt goes to her house to clean out the place, and lo and behold, alive and well, Misty Mountains.She sees her through the window.She sees her get in her car.She sees her drive away.
HEALY:Bullshit.
MARCH: Bullshit's right. She's dead and then she's alive. That's what I'm talking about. It's very fucking complicated. But I persevere, you know. I run the tape through and I think, "Okay, maybe there was a girl there."
HEALY:Amelia? The old lady saw Amelia?
MARCH: Well, look who decided to show up for class. Yeah. There's a gate guard, he keeps track of all the cars that go in and out. So I checked with him, I ran the plate, I got the name.
HEALY:And?
[March extends three fingers]
HEALY:Three. Three what?
MARCH: Three days in advance if you want the rest of the story.
HEALY:Fuck you. Come on, $600? That's fucking robbery. I've only got $400.
MARCH: Well, it's early. You can go rob a bank if you hurry.
HOLLY: (taps the bench twice and then claps)Ba dum tiss.
MARCH: Jesus! What are you doing here?
HOLLY: Giving you a rim job.
MARCH: What? Rim shot. Rim shot.
HOLLY: Whatever. Hey, can we go one more game before... [she recognizes Healy] You're the guy who beat up my dad.
MARCH:Hey. No. Sucker-punched your dad. Big difference. But don't worry. He just did it for money.
HOLLY: (CHUCKLES) You beat people up
and charge money?
HEALY: Yeah. Sad, isn't it?
HOLLY:That's really your job?
HEALY: Yeah.
HOLLY:No way.
HEALY: Yeah.
HOLLY:So, um, how much would you charge to beat up my friend Janet?
MARCH:What?
HEALY: How much you got?
HOLLY:30 bucks.
(March drags a pie plate towards Holly)
MARCH:Look, apple pie.
HEALY: Is she a big girl?
HOLLY:She's tall. Super annoying.
HOLLAND: Apple pie.
HOLLY:She's always mean to me.
MARCH:This conversation is over.
HEALY: We're just talking.
MARCH:And it's over.
[points to the Benjamins atop the magazine]
JACKSON: $400, that's all. $400, two days.
MARCH:We find her earlier, I still get to keep it.
HEALY:Done.
MARCH:Deal. Great. 'Cause I already know where she is.

Cut to: Department of Justice building
HEALY: Adult film star Misty Mountains, shown here at last month's Detroit auto show. High-profile case for you, right? Made the newspapers.
MARCH: You know, the thing about keeping your mouth closed is it prevents you from speaking.
HEALY:Sure. Unless, of course, you're a ventriloquist.
MARCH: Fuck those guys. You can always see their mouths moving.
HEALY:You can what?
MARCH: Ventriloquism, it doesn't work.
HEALY:(CHUCKLES) Sometimes.
MARCH: Never. [points forward]Look at these idiots.
(a group of protesters lying on the staircase)
MAN: Join us.
MARCH: All right. Well... Goodbye.
HEALY:Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hold on. What do you mean, goodbye?
MARCH: This is Amelia's protest group. She's in there somewhere, so have at it.
HEALY:Wait. How do you know she's in there?
MARCH: 'Cause it's her protest group. She started it. That's the hot tip I got yesterday before you broke my arm.
HEALY:Yeah, but she's holed up somewhere hiding. What makes you think she's gonna be here?
MARCH: That's her protest group.
HEALY:Stop saying that.
MARCH: I'd like to stop saying...
HEALY:You said that. I hear it. It's her protest group. I don't hear you hearing it.
MARCH: Hey, Amelia? Amelia?
HEALY:Amelia? She's not here.
MARCH: She's here. Amelia.
WOMAN: We can't talk to you.
MARCH: Who said that?
(it's one of the people lying down, a woman in a gas mask)
WOMAN: We can't talk to you. We're dead.
MARCH: No, I... Yeah, I get it, you know. Like it's very clever. I'm hip. But this is actually a really serious matter.
WOMAN: So is this. We've all been killed.
MARCH: No, you haven't.
MAN:Fuck you, man. We're dead.
BYSTANDER:They can't talk to you, man. They're dead.
HEALY: What's the protest about? Do you know?
BYSTANDER: Any of you know why you're protesting?
MAN: The air.
BYSTANDER: Air.
MARCH: You're protesting the air?
MAN: The pollution. The birds can't breathe.
HEALY:So all of you died because of the pollution?
MNA: Right.
HEALY:What about the gas masks? They didn't save you?
MARCH: This is fucking... All right.
(SCREAMS)
WOMAN 2: Fucker.
MARCH: Sorry. I thought you were dead. Look, Amelia, we know you're here, so this is very...
WOMAN 3: Hey, dickhead. She's not here.
WOMAN:She's not here because of her boyfriend.
WOMAN 4: Her boyfriend died, like really died, like three days ago.
MARCH: Her boyfriend died?
WOMAN 4: Yeah.
MARCH: So where is she?
WOMAN 4: Sorry, can't help you. We're dead.
MARCH: God damn it. All right, which one of you cock and balls wants to make 20 bucks, huh?
[one of the "corpses" raises his hand]

CUt to STREET
UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING; the protestor, Chet (Jack Kilmer) is on the back seat guiding March and Healy
MARCH: Up here, Chet?
CHET: Yeah, make a left here. It's here. Just... Just pull over.
It's right here. On the left. Right... Look. Left. Right here.
The skeleton of a burnt down house
CHET: This is Dean's house. Amelia's boyfriend, Dean.
MARCH: You gotta be fucking kidding me.
CHET: I know, it's crazy.
MARCH: What the fuck is this, Chet?
CHET: This place looks so much bigger now.
MARCH: Do you even really know Amelia, Chet?
CHET: Uh, yeah, well, like kind of like mainly through Dean. Dean was a film-maker. Um... Kind of like experimental kinds of films. Um... That's actually like kind of how we met, 'cause I'm kind of in the business myself.
HEALY: Huh? What do you do?
CHET:(SNIFFS) Projectionalist. Yeah, anyway, um, Dean had this whole room like filled with film stock. One day it just went up, you know... (EXHALES) And, uh, yeah, it cost the guy his life and his life's work. So, kind of, I don't know, kind of makes you think, right?
MARCH:Not really, Chet.
A kid on a bike passes by
MARCH:Hey, kid. Kid.
KID: (SIGHS) What?
MARCH:You know the guy who lived here?
KID: Maybe. What's it to you?
CHET: Hey, he'll give you $20 if you answer.
MARCH:I didn't say that.
KID: 20 bucks, man, or you can blow.
MARCH:Wow.
KID: Thank you. Yeah, I knew the dude. Film-maker dude. Saw him making a film last month.
MARCH: Experimental films, right?
KID: I guess. More like a nudie film.
MARCH:Did you see a girl about 5'8", dark hair, named Amelia?
KID: Nope. Saw that famous chick.
HEALY: What famous chick?
KID: Dead one. Porn star. Misty something.
MARCH:You saw Misty Mountains here?
KID: Yeah. Talked to the producer. (MUTTERS) No, his name was Sid... Sid Hatrack. Yeah.
MARCH:Nobody's name is Hatrack.
KID: Whatever. Tried to get a job. I offered to show my dick 'cause I got a big dick.
MARCH:Oh, right.
KID: Yeah.
(CHET CHUCKLES)
HEALY: Well, that's very nice.
KID: Yeah.
HEALY: You sure you didn't see another girl?
KID: (SIGHS) Nope. You guys wanna see my dick?
MARCH:Nobody wants to see your dick, dude.
KID: 20 bucks?
MARCH:We already paid you 20...What am I saying?
KID: Oh, all right. (starts to ride his bike away) Fags!
MARCH: Hey, kid.
The kid stops
KID: What?
MARCH: What was the name of that film?
KID: (SIGHS) I don't know. Uh... 'How Do You Like My Car, Big Boy?' There it is.

Cut to MARCH'S CAR (INT), NIGHT
MARCH:"Do you wanna see my dick?" Unbelievable. This is what I'm talking about.It's over.The days of ladies and gentlemen are over. This is what Holly's looking down the barrel of. This is what she's dealing with, the fucking Chets and that idiot.
HEALY: Well, one thing we know for sure, something funny's going on.
MARCH:No, it's not. No. A guy burned up. It happens.
HEALY: It happened three days ago, the exact same day Amelia fell off my radar.
MARCH:(SCOFFING) Your radar? (LAUGHING) Let me tell you what two days of detective work looks like, okay? You drive around like an asshole. You're gonna spend half the time interviewing the fucking Chets of the world. You spend the other half trying to translate fuckwit to English. And when it's over, the only thing that's changed is that the sun went down twice.
HEALY:And nothing ever works out, is that what you're trying to say?
MARCH:Never.
HEALY:But you get paid.
MARCH:Sometimes. Hey. Son of a bitch. Hatrack.
HEALY:What?
MARCH:Hatrack. Look at that.
CAR HONKING; they park on the side of the road, March points out a billboard for a "Pinocchio" porno crediting producer Sid Shattuck
HEALY: What?
MARCH:Sid Shattuck.
HEALY:Who's that?
HOLLAND: Savage Sid, the porn king.
HEALY:Well, he didn't burn up, so let's go talk to him.

Cut to MARCH'S KITCHEN
March is on the phone, Holly nearby taking notes.
MARCH:I said I'd like to speak to Sid personally. I'm asking after a friend of ours, Amelia. I'm an old friend.
Holly sees Healy outdoors
HOLLY: Why don't we invite him in?
MARCH: No animals in the house, sweetheart. [to phone] Yeah, I'm here. Say that again. Okay. Thank you very much.
HOLLY: Is that the number you got for Sid Shattuck?
MARCH: Yeah. Can you hang this up? They're getting ready for a party and I asked about Amelia and they said she'd be right back.
HOLLY: Back? Like she's been staying there?
MARCH:Yeah.
HOLLY: So you found her?
MARCH:Maybe. Can you stay at one of your friends'?
HOLLY: I can stay with Jessica, but...You're going to a party?
MARCH:No. I'm going to a big party. Jacket. Sweetheart, it's a job. I gotta take it. If I don't, we won't get to live in such a nice house.
HOLLY: I hate this house. We're not even supposed to be here.
MARCH:Go to Janet's.
HOLLY: Jessica's.
MARCH:Which one's she?
HOLLY: The one with the brown hair.
MARCH:Glass eye?
HOLLY: The one that you like.
MARCH:And like the Hitler-stache?
Cut to OUTSIDE THE HOUSE
Healy is approaching the house as Holly is leaving
HOLLY: (SIGHS) I'm friends with a cop, you know.
HEALY: Is that so?
HOLLY: He likes my dad a lot, too.
HEALY:Maybe they should get married.
Holly HUFFS before leaving

Cut to MARCH'S CAR
March and Healy driving away
HEALY: So, you know the old lady, right? Did you believe her?
MARCH: What about?
HEALY:When she said she saw Misty alive that night, did you believe her?
MARCH: God, no. She's blind as a bat.
JHEALY: Uh-huh.
MARCH: She has actual coke bottles for glasses. You paint a moustache on a Volkswagen, she says, "Boy, that Omar Sharif sure runs fast."

Cut to SID SHATTUCK'S HOUSE (EXT)
UPBEAT DISCO MUSIC PLAYING as March and Healy approach Savage Sid's home. PEOPLE CHEERING IN THE DISTANCE, a horse dressed as an unicorn, many weird people;
MARCH: Jesus tap-dancing Christ!
GIRL 1: All I told him was that if you want me to do that, then don't eat the asparagus.
GIRL 2: Why?
KNOCKING IS HEARD ON THE TRUNK. They open it, Holly is inside.
HOLLY: I know what you're gonna say, but since I'm already here, you might as well take me in with you, right?
March closes the trunk. KNOCKING CONTINUES as he extends the key to the valet
VALET:Um, I can't take your car like that.
March is now pulling Holly towards a taxi
HOLLY: Stop it.
MARCH: What?
HOLLY: Stop it. Stop it. Dad. Dad, there's like whores here and stuff.
MARCH: Sweetheart, how many times have I told you? Don't say "and stuff." Just say, "Dad, there are whores here."
HOLLY: Well, there's like a ton. Wait. No. I can help you. Seriously? I came all this way.
MARCH: I love you.
Holly does a "I'm looking at you gesture as the taxi drives away.

Earth Wind & Fire play as March and Healy enter the house and check all the sleaze in the party, including the "Pornocchio" from the ad...
"PINOCCHIO": It's not my nose that grows.
...and a TREE MAN
HEALY:Whoa. Well, we know Mary Jane turned up.
MARCH:Who's that?
HEALY:Mary Jane. Marijuana. Pot. Place reeks of it. They're smoking it.
MARCH:Oh, yeah. I can't smell.
HEALY:What?
MARCH:I got hit in the head a while back. I lost my sense of smell.
HEALY:You can't smell?
MARCH:Yeah.
HEALY:Wow. You're a detective who can't smell?
MARCH:Yeah.
HEALY: Oh, this just keeps getting better and better.
MARCH:Wow, that's really insensitive.
HEALY:(CLEARS THROAT) Look, if Amelia doesn't show,
we still got Shattuck, right?
MARCH:But if things get rough, I'm injured. So you're gonna have to handle it.
HEALY: Right.
MARCH:Well, you know, blind his son, or, you know, whatever it is. You work your magic. Where you going?
HEALY: I think this is gonna work better,faster, if we split up. Okay?
MARCH:What?
HEALY: You see a guy with a blue face, you come and find me.
Healy walks away, a woman with cigarettes in her hair approaches March.
WOMAN: You wanna smoke?
March gets a cigarette. Meanwhile, Healy is approached by a waitress
WAITRESS: Drink?
HEALY: No, I... (STUTTERS)
Healy is still given a drink, while we see March grabbing one for himself. Healy sniffs, puts the glass on a stand... that turns out to be a woman bending over. He picks it back again.
HEALY: Hey, uh... Sorry.
As March continues drinking, a SLOW ROCK SONG is PLAYING and he tries talking to the bartender
MARCH: It's the killer bees. That's what you gotta worry about.
BARTENDER: You know why they call them killer bees, don't you? 'Cause they'll kill you.
MARCH: Good point.
March gestures to a dancing stripper, she goes down to talk to him
MARCH: Excuse me.
STRIPPER: Hello, handsome.
MARCH: You, uh, seem to have a very good vantage point up there. I lost my sister.
STRIPPES: Yeah.
MARCH: She's got dark hair, your height. She's wearing clothes, but...
MAN: Come on, baby, keep dancing!
MARCH: Answers to Amelia.
BARTENDER: Hey. You want another drink? Just leave the girl alone.
March chugs the drink he's been given as the dancer goes back to her duty.

Somewhere else, Healy goes into a room with costumes. One is a pinstriped suit with a tag "HOW DO YOU LIKE MY CAR, BIG BOY? - MISTY, SCENE 1"

Elsewhere March approaches a female bartender.
MARCH: Hi, everyone.
BARMAID: Hey.
MARCH: I'm Amelia. She's about dark hair. Answers to [the "mermaid" swimming in the background gestures at him] the call of the wild. (SIGHS) I'm just kidding.
BARMAID: (LAUGHS) What?
MARCH: I forgot her name, but, you know, if you see you, just if you see, let me know and tell me my name.

Healy finds a film can reading "MISTY - TEST FOOTAGE". Inside, only some polaroids and a pink cow note with what looks like flight information.

POP SONG PLAYING as two mermaids in the pool kiss each other. In front of them, the same barmaid is questioned by Healy.
BARMAID: Sorry.
HEALY: Thank you.
BARMAID: You want a drink?
HEALY: No, thanks.
As Healy walks away, we see March swimming in the pool after the mermaids.

Healy walks until he notices Holly is inside a room, and rushes to it.
In the room, a WOMAN is MOANING ON TV
HEALY: Holly. Hey, hey. I don't think you should be watching this.
MAN: What's it to you, idiot? Move. You're in my way.
Healy bashes the man's head on the glass table, Holly gasps.
HEALY: Listen, dickweed, that little girl's a minor. Where do you get off showing her stuff like this anyway?
HOLLY: He's not showing it to me. She put it on.
HEALY: Well, she shouldn't be watching stuff like this either.
ACTRESS: Watching it? (SCOFFS) Man, I'm in it.
The WOMAN is heard MOANING LOUDLY
HEALY: Oh, right. Look, go home, right? Your dad told you to go home. Go home.
HOLLY: By the way, I'm supposed to meet someone here. Do you by any chance know a girl named Amelia? I think she did a film with Sid Shattuck.
ACTRESS: Don't know her, but Sid's gross. He told me this one chick was his sister, right, and then a few days later I walk in on them and they're all doing anal and stuff.
HOLLY: (SIGHS) Don't say, "and stuff." Just say, "They're doing anal."

FUNK SONG PLAYING as March approaches a woman in Native American garb in a balcony
WOMAN: Hey, Pocahontas!
POCAHONTAS:Hey.
MARCH: I'm a cowboy. And you?
POCAHONTAS: Pocahontas.
MARCH:What do you do?
POCAHONTAS:I do a little bit of acting.
MARCH:Me, too. Hey, shoot me.
POCAHONTAS:What?
MARCH:Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me. Fucking shoot me.
POCAHONTAS:Bang!
March jumps back as if he's been shot
MARCH:That's pretty good.
POCAHONTAS:Bang!
MARCH: (doing it again)Oh.
POCAHONTAS:Bang!
March's act this time makes him fall off the balcony, and he ends up stumbling down the hill
MARCH: (GROANING)Son of a...
Back in the house, Pocahontas LAUGHS and CLAPS
POCAHONTAS: Whoo! That was great!

MARCH: Shit.Shit! My fucking gun.
He drunkenly gets up, hears LEAVES RUSTLING and turns
MARCH: Jesus. You scared me. Do I know you?
Behind a tree is a woman in a yellow dress... Amelia, but March doesn't recognize her
MARCH: I'm not gonna hurt you. No, I'm just looking for my gun. (opens jacket to show empty holster) So...
Amelia runs. March looks puzzled before searching through the ground, eventually finding his gun and leaning against a tree.
MARCH:(PANTING) I got it! So...There you go, March.March, March, he's our man. If he can't do it, no one can. March.

JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING, as Healy walks through the party; down the slope, March then tries to light a cigarette, and his lighter illuminates a dead man's body. The cigarette starts dangling from his mouth.

Back at the party, Healy is still searching
HEALY: March. March.

MARCH is SNORTING, WHEEZING, and LAUGHING NERVOUSLY as he struggles to find a breath to scream Healy's name.
MARCH: Healy! Healy! Healy!Healy! Come on. Come down here.
Healy gets to the balcony, sees March
HEALY: What the fuck are you doing down there?
MARCH: Get down here!

Healy is now downhill too.
MARCH: Healy!
HEALY: It's all right, man.
March points at the tree
HEALY: What? Oh, fuck.
MARCH: I'm gonna be sick, throw up.
The corpse falls to the ground.
HEALY: Oh. Who the fuck is that?
JACKSON GRUNTS as he takes the corpse's wallet and searches his cards
HEALY: It's Sid Shattuck. That's Sid Shattuck.
MARCH: Don't tell me that. Oh, no. Shit!
HEALY: What's going on?
MARCH: Shit!
HEALY: Everybody worked on this Amelia flick, right? The boyfriend, then Misty - now Sid. They're all dead.
MARCH:Before we go solving the crime of the century, let's deal with the fucking rotting corpse.
HEALY: What the fuck are we gonna do with this guy?
MARCH:We gotta get rid of him.
HEALY: Why?
MARCH:I lost my gun. There was a girl. She can place me.
HEALY: All right, we got a plan.We'll throw up, we'll get rid of the body.
MARCH:Right.
They start RETCHING.

In the party, Holly is walking down a corridor before being approached by a woman.
WOMAN: Hey.
HOLLY: Hi.
WOMAN: Are you the one who's been asking about Amelia?
HOLLY:Uh, I may have said something.
WOMAN: What do you want with her?
HOLLY:Um, she's my sister, see. Yeah, um, I need to warn her. Two freaky guys were coming around. They were all like, "Where is she? Where is she?" It scared me kinda.
WOMAN: Well, you seem like a decent kid. I'll take you to her. Come on.
HOLLY:Okay.

Downhill, March and Healy are carrying the body.
HEALY: What I can't figure out is how you saw him from all the way up there. You didn't fall down the fucking hill, did you? Did you fall down the hill?
MARCH:I had like two, three drinks, tops.
HEALY: Yeah, that's why you can't walk straight.
MARCH:Oh, excuse me.I'm carrying a dead body and I have his schwantz in my face. So, I'm sorry I'm not Bakishnarov.
HEALY: You can't even say Baryshnikov. You did, didn't you? You fell down that fucking hill. You get drunk, you lose your gun, you take a header off the balcony and now you're gonna tell me it's like a hallowed, time-honoured detective ploy, right?
MARCH:It was very slippery up there, okay? I was... I was in the pool.
HEALY: You were in the pool?
MARCH:Yeah.
HEALY: Why?
MARCH: I had to question the mermaids. What were you doing while I was working? (Healy just stands silent) Thank you.
HEALY: Let's get rid of this guy.
MARCH: Oh, God.
The two dump Shadduck's body over a fence, where it crashes onto the table of a wedding reception, horrifying everyone.
GUEST: Oh, God! My leg! My leg!
WOMAN: What is that?
Back in the fence, the two see the chaos and hear SHRIEKING
JACKSON: Run.
They run away

Holly is being guided to a car
WOMAN: Hop in back, sweetie. This one says she's Amelia's sister. Is that a fact?
BLUE FACE: (LAUGHS) Good times.
HOLLY: I... There's someone out looking for me.
BLUEFACE: Really?
HOLLY: Yeah. I...
BLUEFACE: Hey, hey, hey. No. Don't touch that.

March and Healy are back in the party, the latter is approached by the blonde that was with Holly.
ACTRESS: Hey. Why didn't you watch my movie?
HEALY: Hey, goodbye.
ACTRESS:Come and watch with me.
HEALY: Have a great night.
ACTRESS:Come on. It's still playing.
HEALY: Have a great night. Bye.
Healy stumbles upon the Older Guy. Once they recognize each other, Older Guy tries grabbing his gun, while Healy throws a drink at him. Everyone around screams and runs away as the two men start fighting.

Once Older Guy's gun goes off, MARCH turns his head. The two men keep fighting, with the gun eventually being fired at the Tree Man, who falls down the balcony. March is startled. Healy manages to make the gun fall in a hot tub, while getting punched by Older Guy. They continue their struggle, with Older Guy even getting a knife. March tries getting to the location where they fight, but the staircase is filled with people
MARCH : Excuse me. Excuse me.

Meanwhile, in Blue Face's car...
HOLLY: I need to go right now.
BLUEFACE: Don't touch...
Holly punches him in the face
HOLLY: Get away from me.
Outside, a worried Amelia talks to the valet.
AMELIA: I need my keys. I need my car. Hurry.
BLUEFACE: [to Holly] Don't fucking move.
AMELIA (O.S.): Hurry. I need my keys.
Blueface is SHUSHING Holly as he grabs his gun. He opens the door, points the gun at Amelia...
AMELIA:Hello? Please! Hurry, hurry. Now!
Holly slams the door on his hand, making the shot hit the valet's box of keys. Everyone screams, and Holly rolls out the car.
BLUEFACE: Fuck! Motherfucker, my fucking hand!
HOLLY: Amelia! Run!
Amelia runs, while PEOPLE keep GROANING and Holly closes the door before rushing out of there, going after Amelia.
March runs to outside the house, pushing the obstructing people into the pool.
Inside the car, Blueface has recovered himself...
BLUEFACE: Drive the fucking car.
...and TYRES SCREECHING are heard as it goes away, just as March arrives. He looks both ways, finds nothing, but then the valet calls him.
VALET:Hey, man. The girl in your trunk, she was in that car.
MARCH runs towards a guy standing next to his open car and throws him on the ground
MAN: Johnny's car!
March starts the vehicle and closes the door.
JOHNNY: Hey, man, what are you doing with my car?
TYRES SCREECHING as March continues to leave.


By the hot tub, Healy manages to stick Older Guy's knife into a fusebox, making him fall on his back unarmed, while Healy is thrown into the edge of the tub. When Older Guy recovers, he punches Healy in the head, presses him towards the tub, trying to drown him.
OLDER GUY: Motherfucker!
It all stops once a shot is fired from within the tub, hitting Older Guy's knee. He falls on his back,while Healy returns to the surface, the gun in his hand.
OLDER GUY: Oh, shit.
Healy throws more punches into Older Guy, making him fall on his back.
HEALY: I swear to God, you get up, I'll shoot you in the cock.
OLDER GUY: (SLURRING) I can pay you.
HEALY:Trying to negotiate with me?
OLDER GUY: You'll never see me again.
HEALY:Where are you gonna be?
OLDER GUY: Michigan.
HEALY:Michigan works.

Healy walks away, tossing the gun back into the hot tub. When he gets by the balcony, he can see the street below, where Amelia, followed by Holly, are running away. A screeching limo stops, and Blue Face gets out to run after the girls. Healy starts going away from the house.

On the road, Blue Face hears TYRES SCREECHING - it's March in the car he hijacked. Blue Face shoots the windshield, leading March to skid, and then run up a tiny hill to crash the car. A startled March tries to recover, Blue Face runs for the women again, and as March groans, Healy appears in front of the car.

HEALY: You okay? Does the car still go? Well, stop fucking around. Come on.

Healy continues his run, and then March gets a determined look in his face before starting the engine. But the car is stuck between the dirt and the sidewalk.
MARCH: Fuck!

Not far, Blue Face catches up with Amelia and Holly, who are now side by side.
BLUEFACE: Freeze!You guys are fast.
Amelia embraces Holly.
BLUEFACE Whoo! (LAUGHS)
HOLLY:There's a...
Amelia tries shutting her up. As We hear a CAR HONKING, and said vehicle, a van, runs over Blueface. The driver stops as the girls run for the van...
DRIVER: Holy shit!
...which then goes away, making AMELIA put her arms up and GROAN. She goes for Holly's wrist...
AMELIA: Come on.
HOLLY: Wait. Wait.
AMELIA: What the hell are you doing?
HOLLY: He's hurt. We need to help him.
AMELIA: Are you crazy? Stay away from him.
HOLLY: Just... Just hang on. We need to help him.
As Holly goes for Blueface, Amelia SIGHS and runs away. She grabs the fallen man's hand.
HOLLY: It's okay.
BLUEFACE COUGHS
HOLLY: You're gonna be all right. I'll... I'll get help. It's all right.
Healy arrives.
HOLLY: A car hit him. We need an ambulance.
HEALY: Holly, go and see if you can flag somebody down. He's in a bad way.
Holly agrees and runs away, and Healy crouches to take Blueface's dropped gun, unload it and clean the fingerprints.
BLUEFACE: (GROANS)You.
HEALY:Yeah, me.
BLUEFACE:You ever hear of John Boy? By now he's heard of you. They're flying him in. (CHUCKLES) Now he's gonna kill that private cop and his whole fucking family. And then he's gonna come for you. You ain't got long to live.
HEALY:Well, buddy, none of us do.
HEALY chokes Blueface using the handkerchief that cleaned the gun; Holly returns
HOLLY: Healy, there's no one here.
HEALY:He didn't make it.
Holly looks at Blueface, and then notices a CAR APPROACHING. It's March. Holly breathes in relief, and runs to embrace her father.
MARCH: Are you okay?
HOLLY: Yeah.
Healy nods to March, and they hear SIRENS WAILING
HEALY:(SIGHS) And that'll be the cops.

Cut to FRONT OF THE HOUSE
The police have surrounded the street.
MAN: Okay, Holly...
OFFICER: What do you want me to do with them?
MARCH: Look, pal, you already got our statements. Can I go see my daughter now?
OFFICER:Sir, I was told to keep you here, so I'm keeping you here. Just following orders.
MARCH: You know who else was just following orders? Hitler.
An African American woman, Tally (Yaya DaCosta), approaches
TALLY:Officer. You're Mr March, I think. And you are... Wait, I know you. (STAMMERS) You're the guy. The diner guy, right? From last year, right?
HEALY: Yeah.
TALLY: Yeah. My name is Tally. If you'll follow me, my boss would like a word. Please.
MARCH: I'm sorry. The diner guy?
HEALY: I'll tell you later. Don't worry about it.

They approach a limousine with its window down, revealing its passenger, Judith Kuttner (Kim Basinger)
JUDITH: How do you do?
MARCH: About this good most of the time.
JUDITH: My name is Judith Kuttner. I work for the Department of Justice.
MARCH: Okay. Well, that explains basically nothing.
JUDITH: I... I'm Amelia's mother.

Cut to DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
In the reception, Tally is doing magic tricks to distract Holly...
TALLY: Holly, are you still frowning? (GASPS) What's in my hand? What? (she makes a card appear in her hand, Holly GASPS, Tally LAUGHS)
HOLLY: I know how you do that.
...while in Judith office, Judith talks to Healy and March.
JUDITH: Hello. Sit. First of all, I wanna say thank you. We've been watching interviews, and it sounds like you might have saved my daughter's life.
HEALY: That was mostly Holly. His daughter.
MARCH:It's genetics.
JUDITH: Would you like a mint?
MARCH:Uh, yeah.
JUDITH: I need your help. But I wanna know if I can trust you.
HEALY: I'm kinda getting the idea that, you know, you might not have much choice.
JUDITH: Well, my situation is very delicate.
HEALY: Hey, that's where I know you from, right? The TV. You're prosecuting that car company thing.
JUDITH: The lawsuit for the catalytic converter. Yes. That's half my day. The other half I spend on pornography.
MARCH: Hmm. What kind? Like which films? What's your favourite?
HEALY: No, no. Uh, anti. Anti-porn.
MARCH: Right. Like a crusader. Should I be writing this down?
HEALY: Yeah, write it down.
[he grabs a pen and paper]
JUDITH: The Vegas mob is trying to spread its porn operation to Hollywood Boulevard. (SCOFFS) And I'm doing everything I can to stop it.
MARCH:Thank you. Porn is bad.
HEALY: Something I don't understand. Your daughter, she did a film with Sid Shattuck. Now, why would she do that when she knows that's just gonna be extremely professionally
embarrassing for you?
JUDITH: 'Cause she wanted to. She lashes out. We have a difficult relationship.
MARCH: Mothers and daughters, it's tough.
JUDITH: But there's no film, not any more. There was a fire. Um... A friend of Amelia's, he...
HEALY: Dean. Yeah, we went to his house. Well, what's left of his house.
MARCH: Mrs Kuttner, why do you think everyone involved with this film is dying?
JUDITH: I have no idea, Mr March. I wish I did. I only know that Amelia's in danger.
HEALY: Why don't you put her in protective custody? I mean, after tonight, she's probably very scared. She... She might wanna be at home.
JUDITH: She doesn't trust me. She thinks I am the government. She thinks I'm behind all of this. Somewhere she's out there and she won't call home because she thinks her mother's going to have her killed.
(JUDITH SNIFFLING as Healy and March look at each other)
HEALY (extending the bloody handkerchief): Here. You wanna use that?
JUDITH: No, thank you.
HEALY:No?
JUDITH: I wanna hire you both. Please, find her, protect her.
MARCH: Okay, you can hire us, but we're not cheap. (Judith is writing a check, with "TEN THOUSAND" in the value) This is very intensive work and something like this, I'd say couldn't do it for less than $5,000.
JUDITH: Okay. (throws away the check)
(March leans over to check reception, as Holly is doing card tricks as TALLY LAUGHS)
HOLLY: Yes, I got it.
TALLY: Okay, I gotta get mine now.
MARCH: Can I take this?
JUDITH: Fine.
MARCH: Does Tally have one of... Shall we have hers as well? Just in case you're not... You know, we need to get in touch with somebody.

Cut to MARCH'S HOUSE
Healy walks to March, who is tossing cigarette buns into an empty pool and drinking.
HEALY: So what's this? World's biggest ashtray?
MARCH: (SIGHS) Fuck it, it's... It's a rental. We're only here until we rebuild the old place anyway.
HEALY:Rebuild?
MARCH: Yeah. It burned down.
HEALY:Hey, you know, something's actually bugging me. I found this in Shattuck's office.
He shows the cow note.
MARCH: What is that, a pig? (CHUCKLES)
HEALY:No, it's a pink cow.
MARCH: Oh, it's a cow.
HEALY:When Amelia gave me your address, she gave it to me on a piece of paper like this, handwriting like that.
MARCH: I think you're onto something.
HEALY:Mmm-hmm.
MARCH: Can we talk about it tomorrow afternoon?
HEALY:Yeah, we can do that.
MARCH: Thanks.
(JACKSON CLEARS THROAT and starts walking away)
MARCH: Hey, aren't you that diner guy? Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. I gotta know.
HEALY:I don't wanna get into it right now.
MARCH: You gotta get into it. I gotta know. You're the diner guy.
HEALY: (SIGHS)All right.
MARCH: Yes.
HEALY:All right, about a year ago...
MARCH: Yes.
As Healy tells the story, flashbacks showing the events also appear
HEALY:...I was at a diner in Hollywood and this asshole with a shotgun started threatening people.
March is lying on his back.
MARCH: I love it. It's the best story I've ever heard.
In the flashback, Healy grabs the shotgun, and hits the guy in the face with it
HEALY: So I did something about it. I acted. I didn't plan to, I didn't, you know. I just did it. I took that guy out. I didn't even get paid for it. So I ended up with a bullet in the bicep and 500 bucks of hospital bills. It was stupid, really. When I think about it, it was the best day of my life.
March is SNORING
HEALY: Just for a moment, I felt useful. All right.

Cut to EMPTY LOT
Healy is driving back, when he notes Holly in the lot again. There, she is reading, this time holding with a flashlight.
HOLLY: "Had Mademoiselle Blanche been in England before? What part of France did she come from? Mademoiselle Blanche replied politely but with reserve."
HEALY:Hey.
HOLLY:Hey.You've got your foot in the toilet.
HEALY:I have? (SIGHS)
HOLLY:Now you're getting the carpet all wet.
HEALY:Was this your room?
HOLLY:No, it was Mom and Dad's.
HEALY:Your dad tells me you're rebuilding.
HOLLY:Does it look rebuilt to you?
HEALY:Not especially.
HOLLY:Dad barely ever comes here. He feels guilty, I guess.
HEALY:Because? Hmm?
HOLLY:Oh, the fire. Mom kept on complaining about a leak in the furnace, but Dad, you know, he's got his nose thing,
so he couldn't smell the gas. Anyways, I should probably
get back to my book.
HEALY:All right.
HOLLY:Mr Healy? Are you a bad person? What did you do to tha1t man tonight? Did you kill him?
HEALY:Of course not.
HOLLY:That's good. I knew you couldn't do something like that.
HEALY:Don't stay up too late, all right?
He enters his car again, reflects a bit, and closes his eyes.

Cut to OUTSIDE MARCH'S HOUSE, DAY
Holly is driving March's car as he, clearly hammered, vocalizes along with the radio and bangs on the car door. Healy is waiting outside the house, when Holly parks by hitting somethin g in the ground loudly. They turn their heads, and get concerned as they see Healy.
MARCH:Shit.
Now both are outside, Holly with a box and March with a recently washed suit.
HEALY: I didn't know what time you'd get here. You said afternoon.
MARCH: Well, uh, we were at the bank getting your money. (Hands Healy an envelop) There it is, half, minus a few hundred, you know, for, uh, that car that we crashed. I thought you'd wanna chip in for that.
HEALY: Sure.
March shows Healy the suit.
MARCH: What do you think?
HEALY: It's purple.
MARCH: It's maroon.
Holly SIGHS as she walks towards the door.
HOLLY: We stopped at a bar. That's why we're late.

Cut to MARCH'S KITCHEN
HEALY: So, Amelia's note. Burbank Airport. Western flight D. I figure she's trying to skip town. How do you wanna do this?
MARCH: (EXHALES) I don't know. I say we wait a couple of days, call Kuttner and see if we can squeeze a second instalment out of her. (extends his glass as if toasting and chugs)
HEALY: A second instalment?
HOLLY: You don't wanna call too soon. Gotta act like you're onto something, like you've been working hard. Then, day three, ask for more money. (fake smile)
MARCH: Well, she's putting a negative spin on it, but, yeah, that's the idea.
HEALY: Kuttner paid us. Me. She paid me to do a job, right? I'm not gonna lie to her.
MARCH: And I respect that. That's why I'll lie to her.
Hey, I shelled out 400 bucks for a detective. Someone who finds clues, huh?
MARCH: I found Sid Shattuck's corpse, didn't I?
HEALY:Found it? You fell on it.
MARCH: I guess I don't understand why we're not celebrating. I mean, we just got paid. We're all having a drink in the afternoon.
March and Healy stare at him
MARCH: What?
HEALY:Forget about it, all right?
MARCH: (SIGHS) Oh, would you just... Would you hold on for a goddamn second?
HOLLY:You're the world's worst detective.
MARCH: I'm the worst?
HOLLY:Yeah.
MARCH: The world's worst?
HOLLY:Didn't you hear me the first time?
March opens the the fridge to show his newspaper ad.
MARCH: Got a cool ad, though. So...
HOLLY:(SCOFFS) Why do you have to be such a fuck-up, huh? You go around and you drink and you lie and stuff and people hate you.
MARCH: Sweetheart, don't say, "and stuff." Just say...
HOLLY:I hate you!
She SIGHS and turns her back on him.
MARCH: That works.
HEALY: I'll find the girl myself.
MARCH: You're gonna find her yourself. Okay. Well, say hi to her when you do.
HEALY:I will.
Healy is almost going through the open door...
MARCH: Course, you're not gonna find her at the airport, seeing as how it's not a flight.
...and walks back
MARCH: Did he stop?
HOLLY:Yeah.
MARCH: Your note, look at it. It's not a flight. Every airport has an overflight curfew from 10:00 to 6:00, Burbank included. And that top number is today's date but reversed like the European way, which makes sense when you look at FLT and you think it's not "flight," it's probably "flat," like apartment.
HEALY: And Burbank APT West?
MARCH: Burbank Apartments West. It's a dump. Fuck it, I'll show you.Holly, go to Janet's this time. But for real.
HOLLY:Jessica's.
MARCH: Jessica's. We've gotta go to work.
HOLLY: Do you want your keys?
HEALY: I'm driving.
Holly smiles once the DOOR SHUTS

Cut to CONSTRUCTION SITE, NIGHT
March and Healy drive and get to where Burbank Apartments West was supposed to be, but there is only an empty lot with an excavator and a billboard. They get off the car and ask a man walking his dog
HEALY: Excuse me. We're lo oking for the Burbank Apartments.
MAN: Oh, they're gone. Tore them babies down, um, going on about two years now.
The frustrated Healy turns to March, not saying a word...
MARCH: To the airport, then? (CLEARS THROAT)

Cut to HEALY'S CAR, ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT
MARCH: Well, they used to have an overflight curfew.
HEALY: It's all right. It's all right. It's okay.
MARCH:They did.
HEALY: Yeah.
MARCH:And they still should if they changed them. They should, they should change them back.
As a descending AIRCRAFT's ENGINE ROARS, March notices something...
MARCH:Pull over.
HEALY: What?
MARCH:Pull over.
He grabs the wheel to force the car to stop.
HEALY: Hey, what the fuck?
Healy then notes the building in front of them...
HOLLAND: The Western Hotel. The Burbank Airport Western Hotel.
HEALY: She's meeting somebody. Okay.

Cut to HOTEL BAR
After the two go through the door they head to the bar.
BARTENDER: Evening. What can I get you?
MARCH: Information. Have you seen this girl? She probably came in in the last half hour.
BARTENDER:(SCOFFS) Hey, I just work here.
MARCH:Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. That's why I'm asking you.
BARTENDER:Hmm. Memory gets a little foggy, you know.What's in it for me?
MARCH:He'll stop doing it.
BARTENDER:(CHUCKLES) Doing what?
Healy slams his face onto the counter.
BARTENDER:Ow!
MARCH: That.
BARTENDER:Fuck!
HEALY:Now, we can do this the easy way or we can... We're currently doing it the easy way.
BARTENDER:Okay. Jesus. The penthouse. She's in the penthouse, top floor.(SIGHS) Are you happy?
MARCH: Yeah.
BARTENDER:Guys, listen. You... You don't wanna go up there, all right? Trust me. These New York guys are up there. Uh, business guys. They got fucking bodyguards. Kind that had their balls removed. What's that called? Huh?
HEALY: Marriage?
BARTENDER:Yeah. Uh... Just chill here, you know. She's gotta come back down. Have a couple of cold ones on me?
HEALY: Oh, not for me.
HOLLAND: He makes a strong argument, though.
BARTENDER:You see? Reasonable. Very reasonable. Now, your buddy, that was the problem, he wasn't reasonable.
HEALY: Our buddy?
HOLLAND: Yeah, we don't have friends.
BARTENDER:The other guy looking for Amelia, he wasn't with you?
HEALY:Where'd he go?
BARTENDER:Got in the elevator right before you guys came in.
HEALY:Did you get a name?
BARTENDER:John something.
HEALY:Did you actually witness him getting into the elevator?
BARTENDER:No, it was told to me by a wise old Indian. Of course I fucking witnessed it.
HEALY:Right.
MARCH: What the hell's going on?
HEALY:Oh, it just makes sense. It connects up.
MARCH:What makes sense?
HEALY:John Boy. Oh, just something that Blueface mentioned, yeah.
MARCH:What do you mean, he mentioned?Mentioned how?
HEALY:Oh, you know, he... "There's a guy coming to kill you." That kind of crap.
MARCH: Yeah. We should probably just stay here.
HEALY: Smart move. Unless, of course, he's up there killing her right now.
MARCH:Nobody's getting killed at the Burbank Airport Hotel.
HEALY:Because?
MARCH:That would be national news.
HEALY:Yeah, so?
MARCH:Oh, so when's the last time you were on national news?
HEALY:February.
MARCH:Really?
HEALY:Yeah.
MARCH:For what?
HEALY:I got shot, in a diner.
MARCH:Where?
HEALY:In my arm. I told you this last night.
MARCH:We should call the cops.
HEALY:No. It'll take too long. I mean, she could die.
MARCH: You just said it was the right move to stay down here.
HEALY:No, I said smart move. Different.
The two then walk to elevator.

Cut to ELEVATOR
They enter, BREATHE DEEPLY and stand in the regular pose.
MARCH: Munich.
HEALY: What?
MARCH: A guy without his balls. It's a Munich.
HEALY: Munich is a city in Germany. München. Munich. Yeah.
MARCH: Right. Hitler only had one ball.
(ELEVATOR DINGS.)

Cut to PENTHOUSE FLOOR
JACKSON: All right, here we go.
On the corridor, a MAN is CHOKING, with his throat slit
MAN: Hey! (GRUNTING) Whoa!
The man who just yelled is hit with MUFFLED GUNSHOTS. March and Healy just press the elevator button and walk back inside... witnessing besides them a man being thrown out the window.


Cut to HEALY'S CAR, OUTSIDE HOTEL
Healy is rushing away, the TYRES SCREECHING. Then they hear SIRENS WAILING...
HEALY: Oh, shit.
Healy enters in a nearby one-way alley, BRAKES SCREECHING, as the police cars are coming to the hotel. After they all pass...
MARCH:What are we doing?
HEALY: I can't just leave.
MARCH:Why?
HEALY: She's in danger, man. We have to do something about it.
MARCH:She's dead.
HEALY: What do you mean, she's dead?
MARCH:Come on!
HEALY: She's not dead.
MARCH:Open your eyes, man.
HEALY: You don't know that.
MARCH: She's fucking dead!
HEALY: You don't know she's...
Amelia lands feet-first on the car. She walks to the hood, tries to shoot at them, but the recoil knocks her off her feet and she goes unconscious on the street below. They open the car and retrieve her

Cut to LIVING ROOM
Television BEEPING on a game of PONG. It's Holly and Jessica in March's house. March and Healy enter, the latter carrying Amelia.
MARCH: What are you doing here?
HOLLY: Holy shit, you got her.
MARCH: You're supposed to be at Jessica's.
JESSICA: Yeah, sorry, Mr March. My sister kicked us out. She's having a guy over.
MARCH: Your sister's such a slut.
JESSICA: Yeah, I know.

Cut to Holly's bedroom
Amelia is put on Holly's bed
HEALY: Hello? Amelia. Should you shake her shoulder? Maybe... You know, my brother used to flick my ear. Like that. I hated that.
HOLLY: We shouldn't be violent.
MARCH:You got a brother?
JESSICA: You could just hit her.
HEALY:Yeah.
MARCH:Really?
JESSICA: Like really hard.
HEALY:I've got a family.
HOLLY: It's not practical.
JACKSON: We probably shouldn't hit her if we want her to talk to us.
Amelia awakens
HEALY: It's okay.
AMELIA:You were supposed to get those guys off of me.
MARCH: Do you know who they were? Do you know who sent them?
AMELIA:Yeah. It was my mother.
HEALY: Would you mind starting from the top because...
AMELIA:Why? It doesn't matter.
MARCH: I'm sorry, it doesn't matter? You just shot at us. I think it matters.
AMELIA:Okay, okay. I made a film. I made a film with Dean, my boyfriend. And the idea was that we were gonna, you know, like make this experimental film, like an artistic film.
MARCH:Porno film.
AMELIA:It's not a porno. (SIGHS) Look, do you even know who my mother is?
HEALY: Yes, we do. We... We've actually met your mother.
AMELIA:(SCOFFING) What did she tell you, that I'm crazy?(STAMMERS) That I was just lashing out?
HEALY: Something like that. She might have mentioned...
AMELIA:Yeah, well, my mother is a criminal. She's one of them.
MARCH: Who's them? What's them?
AMELIA: One of the insiders. One of the capitalist, corporate suppressors. You know, they want us dead, man. We're just in their crosshairs, you know. We're just pawns.
JESSICA: Gosh.
AMELIA: (SIGHS) Ow.
MARCH: Hey. (WHISTLES SLOWLY, the girls leave) And what does this have to do with the birds?
JACKSON: Yeah.
AMELIA:My mom's supposed to be working for the Justice Department, right?
HEALY: Sure, she's prosecuting the catalytic converter case.
AMELIA:Yeah, only she's not. She's not prosecuting it. The auto makers, she's gonna let 'em walk.
MARCH: But they have the evidence.
AMELIA:Yes, they have evidence. They have memos proving that Detroit conspired to suppress the converter, proving they would rather poison our air than spend a little bit of money. But my mom, she's gonna say that's not enough. She's gonna lie because... Because she's on the take. Money again, right? Mammon, that's her god. That fascist crony...
MARCH: Okay, okay.
AMELIA:...bogart!
MARCH: All right, all right, just... Just back up a little bit. (SIGHS) Why not just go straight to the police?
AMELIA:(LAUGHING) She is the police. She's the head of the Justice Department.
HEALY: You... You've got a point.
MARCH: Okay, or the newspaper?
AMELIA:They all work together. God, have you been living under a rock?
HEALY:All right, so then your solution -was you make a porn film.
AMELIA:(SIGHS) It's not a porno!
MARCH: You know, I have neighbours.
AMELIA:I made a statement.
HEALY: Right.
AMELIA:And yeah, yeah, my statement contained nudity.
MARCH:Porno nudity.
AMELIA: Art. That's just the commercial element, okay? Okay? Sid said we had to have that. And the reality was we were getting our message out there. And... And it was all in the film, names and dates and everything, everything that my mom was doing, and once it was out there, once it was in theatres, there's no way that they could suppress it. There's no way that they could cover it up.
MARCH: So let me get this straight. You made a porno film where the point was the plot?
AMELIA:(SIGHS) What's your hang-up, man?
JACKSON: It's not the sex. It's... It's what's in the story.
AMELIA:My mom found out. (SIGHS) She killed Dean and destroyed the film.
HEALY: Your mom killed Dean?
AMELIA:Of course. She killed Misty, too.
HOLLY: And Sid Shattuck?
AMELIA: Yeah.
MARCH: Okay, so it's like Jack the Ripper and then your mom, basically.
(Amelia SIGHS)
HOLLY: So what are you gonna do?
AMELIA: I don't know. I'm just really tired, you know.
HEALY: Uh, all right, okay. So, uh, you... We're just gonna talk about it and we'll think and you get some rest.
MARCH: Yeah, just get some rest.

They all walk back to the corridor.
MARCH:What do you think?
HOLLY:I like her.
JESSICA:I like her dress.
MARCH:It's a nice dress. But she's a loon. According to her, her mother's single-handedly gonna wipe out all of Western society.
HEALY: Well, yeah. However, there are people trying to kill her, right?
MARCH: Like John Boy.
HOLLY: Who's John Boy?
JESSICA: He's on The Waltons.
HEALY: No, different John Boy.
MARCH: Well, we think.
HEALY: Think, yeah. Pretty sure.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
MARCH: Can't be sure, though. Yeah.

The call is from Judith's office.
TALLY: Mr March, I just got a call from Judith. She didn't explain herself. Said she needed $100,000 in cash.
MARCH: $100,000? Why?
TALLY: I don't know. -I think she's involved in something shady maybe.
MARCH: Well, her daughter certainly seems to think so.
TALLY: What, Amelia? You found Amelia?
MARCH: Yes. She fell on our car. We were just talking and she fell on our car. Anyway, she's here. You should come over.
TALLY: I... I'll send the family doctor.
(SIGHS)
TALLY: Okay, look, Mr March...
MARCH: Holland, please.
TALLY: I've got a bad feeling about this. Would you be willing to carry the money for me?

Cut to OUTSIDE DEPT OF JUSTICE
HEALY: I wish I knew who to believe on this one.
MARCH: Well, the kid's a write-off, I'll tell you that much.
HEALY: Maybe they're both telling the truth.
MARCH: We're downstairs. She's coming down. What do you mean, they're both telling the truth? What the fuck does that mean?
HEALY: I got a friend, right? Secret Service. Worked the Nixon detail. This was after they threw him out of office. No. Anyway, you know, Nixon's driving around one day around San Clemente. Just him and a few agents.
MARCH: Yeah.
HEALY: And they come across this car accident, right? There's a guy pinned under a car. Anyway, Nixon gets out, runs over to check on the guy, you know, leans down, and Nixon says to him, "You're gonna be okay, son. You're gonna be all right." And right then the guy dies.
MARCH: I don't get it.
HEALY: Think about it from that guy's point of view, okay? The guy who died. He's lying there on the ground, staring up at the sky, near death, and then former president Richard Nixon appears before him and tells him he's gonna be fine. Now, did he think that's normal, right, that before they die, everybody sees Nixon?
MARCH: You're expecting an angel and you get Nixon.
HEALY: Exactly. Right?
MARCH: Yeah.
HEALY: It's the same situation, just a vastly different point of view.
MARCH: So there's two ways to look at something.
HEALY: Yeah.
MARCH: That's the point of the story?
HEALY: Yeah.
MARCH: Yeah, just say that.
HEALY: What?
MARCH: Well, you just lead me on this epic fucking journey with this story, and 10 minutes later, the point is that there's two ways to look at something. Just... You could just say that.
HEALY: You didn't like that story?
MARCH: That would be awful.
HEALY: Wouldn't it, right?
MARCH: Yeah.
HEALY: It would suck, right?
MARCH: Oh.
Tally then appears, handing them a briefcase.
MARCH: Hey.
TALLY: Thank God. $100,000. Packed it myself. Just... It's not common you find such nice people in the world.
MARCH: (LAUGHS)I'm sorry about him. He just wanted to come along. I don't know why. But I'll call you, you know, when we make the drop.
TALLY: Thank you.

Cut to MARCH'S CAR
MARCH: Are you nervous at all?
HEALY: Me? No. I got insurance. [shows a holster in his ankle] This baby right here.
MARCH: Is that an ankle gun?
HEALY: That is an ankle gun, yeah.
MARCH: That's pretty sweet.
HEALY: Uh-huh.
MARCH: I'm falling asleep at the wheel here, man. I'm gonna need you to drive. I'm gonna pull over up here.
HEALY: You don't have to pull over. The car can drive itself.
MARCH: What?
HEALY: Just take your hands off the wheel, man.
Said and done, the car is driving itself
MARCH: Hmm. I didn't know it could do that.
He then lights a cigarette
HEALY: Where you been, man? Every car can do this.
We then see a (smoking) giant bee is in the backseat.
BUMBLE: Yeah, March, where the fuck have you been, man? Idiot. You didn't know that?
MARCH: You fly everywhere. You don't even drive.What do you know?
HEALY: He's got a point there, Bumble.
BUMBLE: Yeah, whatever. I used to fly all the time, but now the smog is just disgusting, man. It's just this pollution is out of control. All the bees are riding around in cars these days.
HEALY: Wake up! Wake up!
A sleeping March is revealed on the wheel
HEALY: March! Wake up! (TYRES SQUEALING, cones being hit and flying, we're back to reality...) March! Wake up!
March wakes up, sees he's losing control and tries to put the car back on the road, SHRIEKING like a girl again
HEALY: Shit. Shit.
But they end up crashing against water barrels, causing the briefcase to fall out and spill the contents everywhere. It's not money, but a bunch of paper clippings.
HEALY: That's not money.
MARCH: Tally packed it herself. She said so. Why? Why would she send us off on some wild fucking goose chase?
HEALY:Amelia.
March in a payphone. The LINE is only BEEPING, he angrily puts it back and rushes to the car

Cut to MARCH'S HOUSE
Jessica is on the phone while Holly plays Solitaire.
JESSICA: No, like The Waltons. Yeah? Yeah, on TV. Richard something? Yeah. Who's that actor?
HOLLY: Jessica, get off the phone.
JESSICA: Yeah. Anyway, so this new John Boy's like a murderer or something. Uh-huh.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
JESSICA: Shit. Now it's gonna bug me.
Holly opens the door, it's a man in black with a mole in his face (Matt Bomer)
MAN:You must be Holly. Dr Malek.
HOLLY:Hi.
"MALEK":Hi.
HOLLY:She's inside. Come in.
"MALEK":Thank you.
He enters
JESSICA: Yeah, I don't know...
"MALEK":You mind fetching your dad?
HOLLY:Uh, he's running an errand.
"MALEK":Back anytime soon?
HOLLY:Oh, hour, tops.
"MALEK":Fine. Now, then, Nurse Holly, how's our patient? [nods to Jessica] That's her?
HOLLY:Oh, no, that's Jessica. What she's got you can't fix.
"MALEK":(CHUCKLES) You are very funny.
HOLLY: (points to the bedrooom) In there. Asleep. Slight fever.
"MALEK":Hmm. On drugs you think? Maybe smoking the reefer? What was she saying?Was she making sense?
JESSICA: Hold on. Um... Holly, what's the name of the guy on The Waltons that plays John Boy? With the hockey puck on his face?
HOLLY: (CHUCKLES) That show's for retards. Dr Malek, would you like a cookie? Just baked them.
JESSICA:There's none left. I looked, remember?
HOLLY: No, there's a couple. Doctor?
Holly goes to the kitchen...
JOHN-BOY:I could be persuaded. After I have a look at Sleeping Beauty.
...and takes the gun from the cookie pot, cocks it as she points it at John-Boy, who extends his arms and SIGHS
JOHN-BOY:Nurse Holly.
He drops his suitcase, which makes a THUDDING noise
JOHN-BOY:Holly, what are you doing? Are you crazy?
HOLLY: There are handcuffs behind the bar, asshole. Get them.
JOHN-BOY:This is really slowing me down, Holly.
JESSICA: What's going on?
HOLLY: Jessica, it's him. He's the guy.
JOHN-BOY:Jessica, if you help me with this,[takes out a knife] I'll only kill Holly.
Cut to March's car approaching, and then back to the house
HOLLY: Jessica, dial 911.
JOHN-BOY:Jessica, I wouldn't do that if I were you.
March parks just as Jessica runs towards them. John-Boys tackles her and throws the girl through the window besides the door.

Cut to OUTSIDE MARCH'S HOUSE
Jessica is thrown out the window, just as March and Healy have stopped outside the house
MARCH:You hear that?
They see John-Boy walk in front of the house
MARCH: Excuse me.
JOHN-BOY:Evening.
MARCH: You hear that sound just a second ago?
John-Boy opens his car's trunk, goes down to get something
JOHN-BOY:Oh, yeah, just now. That was me. [he rises again, wielding a Tommy Gun] I threw that little girl out the window.
John-Boy fires the machine gun, hitting only the car as March and Healy take cover. Eventually his magazine is depleted
MARCH: Cover me.
As March leaves, Healy shoots a pistol, hitting John Boy's car. John Boy reloads his tommy gun and fires again. Healy is forced to duck quickly.
HEALY: God.
While March keeps running back, John-Boy continues shooting, and Healy returns fire once the assassin's bullets stop again. When March gets near the door, he grabs Jessica and carries her. Healy starts running towards the house as John-Boy reloads, eventually hiding behind a generator under a palmtree.

Cut to INSIDE MARCH'S HOUSE
March enters the house, carrying Jessica.
MARCH: Holly!
Holly rushes from a nearby room
HOLLY: Dad!
March points at a closet
MARCH: Get in.
HOLLY: Is she okay?
MARCH: Get down.
Outside, Healy is hiding from John Boy's attack while taking bullets from his pocket. Back inside, as March and Holly approach the closet, Amelia comes out of it screaming
AMELIA:Fucking fascists! (GASPS when he sees March with Jessica)
MARCH: Jesus!
AMELIA: (covering her mouth) Sorry.
MARCH: (pointing forward) Get in.
Amelia retreats into the closet, while March puts the unconscious Jessica in it and Holly enters as well.
MARCH: Okay, come here. [he embraces Holly] Stay in here and don't move.
HOLLY: Okay.
He closes the door
MARCH: Okay. Okay.
The closet door opens, an arm carrying a handgun waving
HOLLY: Wait, wait. Dad, Dad, here you go.
MARCH:Jesus!
The startled March takes the gun

Outside, John Boy stops firing again, March shoots, and March comes in from the front door and does it too. John Boy looks into the trunk, grabs a pistol and fires it with one hand while shooting with the tommy gun in the other at the house, forcing March back in.

Cut to CLOSET
Jessica is rubbing her eyes while Amelia is getting up.
HOLLY:Jessica. I think she's awake.
Amelia moves towards the window
HOLLY: Wait, where are you going? What are you doing?
AMELIA: Tell Mr Healy thanks for nothing.
she jumps out the window

Cut to OUTSIDE
John Boy now has an AK-47. He fires in the space between March and Healy, missing both but damaging the palm tree above the latter plentifully. The tree creaks, and just as it starts falling on the house, Healy runs towards the kitchen window, firing his last bullets at John Boy.

Cut to KITCHEN
Healy GROANS after going through the window.
HEALY: Fuck!
Bullets hit the kitchen as Healy searches for ammo. March enters.
MARCH:Are you okay?
HEALY: March, gun, gun!
He throws the gun... and hits the window, making it go through the glass
HEALY: Fuck!
MARCH:Shit!

John Boy is still firing as March grabs the cookie jar and runs towards Healy. Once the shooting stops, he turns the jar around and gives bullets to Healy
MARCH: Here.
Outside, John Boy ran back to the car and shot with the pistol until he heard a SIREN WAILING. He closes the trunk, and runs towards the wheel as Healy's shots hit his windshield. John Boy then runs away, TYRES SCREECHING. March rises from his crouched position...
MARCH:He's gone.

...and runs towards the closet. Holly gets out to see him.
MARCH: He's gone.
he's PANTING, and then notices Jessica is awake
MARCH:Hey.
Jessica gestures, looking both hurt and sleepy. March looks to both sides and then Holly points out the window. March goes to it, and Amelia is nowhere in sight.
MARCH: Shit.
John-Boy driving away, listening to a SIREN WAILING. Right in front of him, appears Amelia running. She flags down the car, asking for help.
JOHN-BOY:Wow.
He stops, Amelia leans on the open passenger door window.
AMELIA:Please, I need to get out of here.
GUNSHOT, a now dead Amelia falls on the street. John-Boy leaves

Cut to OUTSIDE MARCH'S HOUSE
A CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS, as a photographer takes a picture of Amelia's corpse, which then is covered by a blanket. Healy looks at it with a defeated look before walking along the police cars, while an equally desolate March stares at the horizon. Pan up, the sun starts rising

Cut to POLICE STATION, DAY
March and Healy walk along with a cop in a suit.
MARCH: She had her fucking daughter killed, Perry. Please tell me they're at least gonna question her.
PERRY: They haven't and they're not going to.
HEALY: Because?
PERRY: Because she's the head of the Justice Department. Oh, and, by the way, you're welcome. (LAUGHS) You're out, free on your own recognisance. You get to walk. There should be like a statue of me in your fucking house. I'm sorry, guys. You're gonna lose this one, all right? Your word against hers. No evidence. You lose. You better seriously think about changing your story.

Cut to STREET
As "A Horse with no Name" plays, we see Holland, Holly and Healy in a taxi, stuck in traffic. They see the birds flying away...
HEALY: Oh, fuck it.
MARCH: Maybe they're right. Maybe the goddamn birds can't breathe.
HEALY: Amelia, Misty, Dean, Shattuck, all dead. The rest of us just get to choke.
HOLLY: (SIGHS) I need a drink.

Cut to OUTSIDE MARCH'S HOUSE
The cab stops by the house isolated with a police line.
HEALY: How much do I owe you, buddy?
CAB DRIVER: 12 bucks, pal.
HOLLY: I always hated that palm tree.
MARCH: Never trusted it.
(Holly CHUCKLES)
MARCH: Go inside and get your stuff.
HOLLY:Okay.
She goes into the house.
MARCH:We'll go stay in a hotel or something. We'll get room service.
A car arrives. It's Mrs. Glenn.
MRS. GLENN: Mr March.
MARCH:Mrs Glenn.
MRS. GLENN:I need to talk to you.
MARCH:(CHUCKLING) What a wonderful surprise.
MRS. GLENN:Is that your house?
MARCH:We're remodelling. Listen, this isn't a great time.
MRS. GLENN:It is a great time. He is supposed to be looking for my niece.
HEALY: Really?
MRS. GLENN:Because I saw her. But nobody believes me. Why will nobody believe me?
HEALY:I'm sure I don't know, ma'am.
MRS. GLENN:I saw her in her house through the front window as clear as day, writing something at a desk. She was wearing a blue pinstriped jacket.
HEALY: I've seen that jacket, sure, yeah.
MARCH: What do you mean, you saw that jacket?
HEALY:In Shattuck's office. It was there with a bunch of other clothes.
MARCH: That jacket was in Sid Shattuck's office?
HEALY:Yeah. It was bagged up. It had Misty's name on it and the name of the movie.
MARCH: It's wardrobe for the film. It's wardrobe for the film. Holy fucking shit.
MRS. GLENN:Oh!
MARCH: Sorry. Mrs Glenn, I need you to take us to Misty's house. I need you to show us exactly what you saw.

Cut to MISTY'S HOUSE, SUNSET
They park outside the house, Mrs. Glenn points at the window
MRS GLENN: There. There. That's the window. I was coming around that corner and I saw her through that window.
Now they're inside. Mrs. Glenn finds it different from the memory.
MRS GLENN:But, no, it was here. The desk was here.
HEALY: No desk there now.
March is crawling on the floor.
MRS GLENN: Well, I don't know what to say.
HOLLY: Dad, what are you doing?
MARCH: Give me a second.
He pushes a button under a table, with a WHIRRING noise it opens and reveals a projector.
MARCH: World's worst detective, huh? You did see your niece, Mrs Glenn. You saw her on that wall, at a desk, in a pinstriped suit.
HEALY: So what she saw was a movie?
MARCH: Not a movie. The movie. The movie.
HEALY: But the film burned up.
MARCH:Well, how did she see it two days after it supposedly burned up? And the wardrobe matches perfectly.
HEALY: So Amelia had a second print? She had a copy?
MARCH:Wouldn't you?
HOLLY: And she gave that copy to Misty. So she comes here, checks the film against that wall...
MARCH:Lily sees it through that window.
HOLLY: And Amelia splits and takes the film.
HEALY: And goes where?
MARCH:Oh, for fuck... I mean, can't we get to the next...
HEALY: The Western Hotel to meet the businessman.
MARCH:Distributors. She was screening it for the distributors. She was showing them the film. It's out there. The film exists. Now we just have to find it.
Holly finds a note on the floor.
HOLLY: Guys, look. "Opening night, 9:00 p.m." Signed, Chet.
MARCH: Fucking Chet.
HEALY: The protestor guy?
MARCH:Give me that shit. [she gives him the note] She was planning something with Chet. Opening night?
HOLLY:The LA auto show. It's today, right?
HEALY: Yeah. Big party. Mucky-mucks. Loads of press. If you wanted to get a story out there, right?
MARCH: And fucking Chet's a projectionalist.
MRS GLENN: Please stop talking. I've been listening to everything you said. Does this mean... Does this mean that my niece is dead?
MARCH: Yes! I mean, you know, yes.
Mrs. Glenn gets sad, Holly sighs.
MARCH: She was murdered. I'm sorry.
JACKSON: Mmm-hmm.
HOLLY: But we're gonna bring down the people who did it.
MARCH: Yeah, and for a deeply discounted rate, so...

Cut to CAR EXPO
Television footage of the vehicles showcased at the expo.
MC: Welcome to Los Angeles and the 1978 Pacific Coast Auto Show. Styled road wheels. These all-new fuel-efficient systems.
MAN: An incredible 210-brake horsepower.
WOMAN: Their battery-powered three-passenger runabout.
Cadillac have brought their new Eldorado...featuring a 7-litre V8.
The quality changes to film, the real time events returned. The camera focuses on the hotel next to the exposition.

Cut to HOTEL
In the nearby hotel, an ELEVATOR DINGS, March walks out, followed by Healy and Holly.
MARCH: You guys know where the projection room is? [a man points to a nearby door] You seen Chet, the projectionist?
GUY: Yeah, he just left like 10 minutes ago, went for a drink. And you are?
MARCH: In a hurry.
HEALY: Thanks, buddy.
BUDDY: How'd you know my name was Buddy?
Healy is lockpicking the door, with Holly warning him the surroundings are clear. He opens, and both men go through.

Cut to EXPO
WOMAN (VO): The Malibu sedan. This year's edition is looking spectacular. Come and see it, folks.
Lots of fancy people walk around the expo cars, including Bergen Paulsen, the executive interviewed on that report March watched in the bathtub.

Cut to PROJECTION ROOM
Healy is checking the film reels.
HEALY: It's just a bunch of cars. Motor City Pride. That's not it.
MARCH: Shit.
HEALY: That's not the film.
March looks below the open film can before searching elsewhere.
MARCH: Fucking Chet. He's probably still got it stashed somewhere.
Tally enters with a gun, Holly tries to follow but the door is closed in her face. The men turn to see Tally, the new person, who cocks her gun to point at both.
MARCH: Tally. Oh, my God, you look incredible. How do you get your hair to... It's magnificent. (STUTTERS, as Healy gives a negative look) Listen, I don't know what's going on here, but there's been some foul play. Do you know that that suitcase that you gave us, somebody switched it out. There was no money in it.
Healy facepalms.
TALLY: (CHUCKLES) No shit. Weapons on the floor. Now.
HEALY:(SIGHS) I guess you killed the projectionist, huh?
Healy tosses his gun to the ground. March does the same
TALLY: No. My associate's out looking for him now. We'll find him.
HEALY:Tally, let me ask you something. You ever really killed anybody?
TALLY: In Detroit, yeah. Three times.
HEALY:Really?
TALLY: That's where this all started. The Detroit show. That bitch Misty shooting her mouth off about her new movie.
MARCH:Tally, this is not you. You're not a murderer.
HEALY:She just said she killed three people.
MARCH:I know, but I'm saying deep down.
HEALY:Hey, look, one's a mistake. By the time you get to three...
MARCH:Don't paint her with that brush. I guess it's easy to live in your world, right, where everyone sits in their place.
HEALY:See what's in front of you. She's got a gun and she's killed three...
MARCH:Come on, man. You don't know her upbringing.
HEALY:You gotta face the situation.
MARCH:You don't know what she...
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
HOLLY: Room service.
March gets on the floor, starts searching through Healy's ankles
MARCH:Shit. No.
TALLY: What's wrong with him?
HEALY:I... I don't know. I'm gonna ask him. March?
MARCH:Yeah?
HEALY:Uh, what the fuck are you doing?
MARCH:Did you move it?
HEALY:Move what?
MARCH:The fucking gun.
HEALY:What gun?
MARCH:The fucking ankle gun.
HEALY:Who told you I had an ankle gun?
MARCH:You did. In the car before we crashed. You were like, "Oh, check out my ankle gun." You know, you showed me your ankle gun.
HEALY:Come on. Are you serious?Are you fucking serious?
MARCH:Oh, shit.
HEALY:Yeah.
MARCH:Did I dream that?
HEALY:Yeah, you moron, you dreamt it.
MARCH:No, no, no, no. Yeah, you're right, that was...
TALLY: Just shut up. Shut up! Both of you.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
HOLLY: Room service.
HEALY: This takes the fucking cake.
TALLY: Shh! Holly, you can come in now.
She opens the door, Holly enters, pushing a food trolley.
TALLY: (CHUCKLES) Very clever, Holly.
HOLLY: Thanks. I thought so.
(Holly throws coffee in Tally's face, she GASPS)
TALLY: Why did you just throw cold coffee on me?
HOLLY: I got it in the hallway. I thought it was hot.
MARCH: I like where your head's at, sweetheart. That really could have worked out.
TALLY:All right, you know, everybody, in the corner.
Come on.
Tally ends up slipping on the poured coffee, YELPS...
TALLY:Shit!
...and falls, , pulling the trigger to hit a window whileknocking herself unconscious
MARCH: Well, that really worked out.
HEALY: Yeah.
They get their guns back, while Healy also disarms Tally.
MARCH:Now we just gotta find that fucking Chet before John Boy does.
HEALY: Yeah. Well, that guy said he was going for a drink. You take the roof bar. I'll take downstairs.Well done, kiddo.
HOLLY:Thanks.
As they leave, March puts a cushion under Tally's head, and even pats her before going

Cut to DOWNSTAIRS BAR
John-Boy walks to Chet, who is drinking in the bar counter.
JOHN-BOY: You the projectionist?
CHET: Mmm-hmm. (CLEARS THROAT)
JOHN-BOY: Look, we got a problem on nine. Someone knocked over the projector. The film's all over the floor.
CHET: Film's on the floor? Really?
JOHN-BOY: Yeah, it's a mess. You follow me?
Chet takes a last sip before getting up to follow him.

Cut to UPSTAIRS BAR
"Escape (The Piña Colada Song)" is PLAYING in the fancy location, as the ELEVATOR DINGS. March and Holly come out of it.
MARCH:Okay, just wait here. I'm gonna take a look around.
HOLLY: I wanna help.
MARCH:You can help by staying put, okay?
HOLLY: Promise me you'll get the film?
MARCH:Yeah, I promise.
HOLLY: Pinky promise?
He entangles his pinky with hers before leaving.
MARCH: Fuck.
Holly crosses her arms and puts her back against the wall, smiling. In the bar, March eventually grabs a snack near the counter, earning him the notice of...
BARTENDER:Hey, pal, what can I do you for? [March gestures negatively] Free drinks. What do you have?
March turns with a more interested look.

Cut to STORAGE ROOM
Healy is questioning a janitor.
HEALY: Little guy, stringy hair.
JANITOR: [pointing] I think they went out through those doors.
Healy walks out to a backyard full of empty containers.
HEALY: Hey, Chet? Chet?
Healy hears CHET MOANING, which is emerging from a garbage can where the bloodied projectionist lies.
HEALY: Hey. Hey, Chet.
(CHET MOANS)
HEALY: Amelia's film, where is it?

Cut to EXPO
JOHN-BOY: (to a walkie-talkie) The film is in the projector. Repeat, it's in the projector.

Cut to UPSTAIRS BAR
Older Guy is responding in a table right behind where Holly is. She notes the conversation is interesting...
OLDER GUY: (to walkie-talkie) But we already checked that.


Cut to STORAGE ROOM
CHET: Spliced in.
HEALY:What?

Cut to EXPO
JOHN-BOY: [looking upwards to the projection room] It's spliced into the middle of it, right in the other film. Go get it.

Cut to UPSTAIRS BAR
OLDER GUY:On my way.
Holly tries following him, the ELEVATOR DINGS... and the Older Guy turns, noticing his pursuer.
OLDER GUY:Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop?
Older Guy brings Holly next to the now clearly wasted March in the bar counter.
OLDER GUY:I got a gun pointed directly at your daughter's spine. Come with me. (to Holly) Come on, baby.
They step back, March puts on his shades and turns around to see both. He then starts VOCALISING
MARCH: How does that song go?
Holly SIGHS in disbelief

Cut to PROJECTION ROOM
A timer DINGS, the projector turns on

Cut to EXPO
The movie is now being projected onto a film screen, as John-Boy turns around to learn.
NARRATOR: Welcome, Los Angeles, to the finest fleet of automobiles Detroit has to offer, giving the world luxury redefined. In addition to the most distinctive styling, we are bringing you interiors that are comfort assured, combining velour, leather, wood panelling and an improved...

Cut to ROOF
HOLLAND is walking on all fours, as Older Guy keeps on pushing Holly
OLDER GUY: Help him up.
Holly does so, after HOLLAND GROANS getting up, she's grabbed again. March turns around, back against the edge.
OLDER GUY: Why did you have to bring the goddamn kid?
MARCH: I fucked up.
OLDER GUY:Yeah, you fucked up.
March starts CRYING

Cut to EXPO
NARRATOR: America...
The movie suddenly changes, to the crowd's shock. It's sleazy footage, with a women moaning with the text "A Savage Sid Shattuck production" appears. After that comes Misty Mountains topless along with the credits "Misty Mountains In" and "How Do You Like My Car, Big Boy?"
PAULSEN: Oh, my God.


Cut to ROOF
MARCH: Fuck, fuck.
OLDER GUY: Do you want her to see you like this?
(MARCH CONTINUES CRYING)
OLDER GUY: You fucking drunk. Oh, don't start that crying shit.
MARCH:I fucked up.
OLDER GUY: You drunk motherfucker, you.
MARCH:I love you.
OLDER GUY: It's embarrassing.
MARCH:I'm sorry. Duck.
HOLLY: What?
MARCH: [taking off his shades] Duck.
He punches the Older Guy.
OLDER GUY: Motherfucker!
Older Guy goes for March, who is going for his gun. March punches him again beforing shooting Older Guy in the chest, who in response tries pulling Holly along as he falls down the edge; March tackles him, he lets her go. Both are falling towards the pool, Older Guy bloodily splats on the ground while March hits the water.

Cut to EXPO
PORN ACTOR: Well, I'm Bulging Paulsen and I represent the Detroit auto manufacturers. That's who the hell I am.
Paulsen himself is disgusted, as all the other patrons give an "Oooh" reaction he walks away.
MISTY: You poison our air. The people won't stand for it.
Angry John-Boy also walks out.

Cut to POOL
March is down the water, seemingly about to pass out, when something makes him get an amused look.
MARCH: Nixon! [he sees "Tricky Dick" inside the pool] No!
He GRUNTS and starts swimming away and out the water.

Cut to EXPO
John Boy keeps on walking in the expo as the movie plays. He then turns to find the projector room...
MISTY: (O.S.) I might be persuaded to change my mind. Perhaps if we came to a monetary arrangement. I'll take a wire transfer. It's a Union Federal account. Number 22-12. Just tell them the exact amounts.
...and John-Boy tries shooting at the projector, while everyone else starts SCREAMING and running away in panic
-He's got a gun!

Cut to POOL
March is now floating in the pool, listening to gun shots before a spinning car nearby explodes.

Cut to PROJECTION ROOM
The bullets have hit the projector, and both the falling glass and the fire alarm wake up Tally.

Cut to POOL
March now goes for the pool ladder to leave.

Cut to EXPO
Nearby, Healy has returned, and tries dodging the running people. He eventually sees March getting in the expo, and trying to shoot John-Boy, hitting the glasses near him. John-Boy crouches and tries to shoot March, who rolls over a spinning Chevrolet which is hit.
MARCH: Oh, my God.
March is BREATHING DEEPLY, preparing his next strike, when John-Boy turns around and notices he is against a car in spinning platform.
MARCH: Three, two, one.
March gets up, also sees he's spinning. John-Boy shoots, hits the rearviewmirrors next to March.
MARCH:Jesus!
He falls down and starts crawling away. Healy shoots and hits the lamp near John-Boy, who cowers back. Both men keep on firing until John-Boy is out of bullets, and March is next to Healy.
HEALY: How'd you get down here? I told you to go to the roof. Did you fall?
MARCH: Yeah.
March prepares his gun as John-Boy fires again, hitting the car between the men.
HEALY: Jesus Christ, are you kidding?
MARCH: I think I'm invincible. It's the only thing that makes sense. I don't think I can die.
HEALY: Where's the film?
MARCH: It's up there. We just gotta go get it.
The camera pans up back to the projector room...


Cut to PROJECTION ROOM
...where Holly has just entered, and is seeing Tally holding a pair of scissors in front of the projector table. Tally sees Holly, and throws the scissors, which as Holly ducks quickly are impaled into the door. Once she rises up again, Holly runs for the table, eventually being grabbed by Tally in the shoulder.
TALLY: You get out of here, you little shit.
HOLLY kicks Tally in the knee, and she SCREAMS falling to the ground, releasing Holly, who goes on to grab the film can. Tally rises up as Holly is holding the can in front of her.
TALLY: You give me that, you fucked-up little hippy.
HOLLY: You want it? Go get it.
Holly tosses the uptight can, making it roll like a wheel.
TALLY: No!
Tally tries getting it, but it's too late: the can rolls and falls down the window

Cut to EXPO
Close-ups of March, Healy and eventually Paulsen with two thugs behind him seeing the can falling. Once it hits the ground, it bounces until it stops by the car that exploded.
PAULSEN:Get me that fucking film. Move it.
The thugs leave, and then we see March doing the same.
MARCH: Cover me.
HEALY (O.S.): What? March, March , March!
March runs through the lobby, John Boy sees him and takes aim, with March returning fire. Then someone approaches John-Boy from behind.
GUARD: Drop your weapon!
John Boy punches the guy and shoots another guard that approaches. Paulsen's people run through the lobby, Healy tackles two of them, throwing them on the ground. March finds the film can near a fire, tries to grab it and instantly drops the hot can.
MARCH: Fuck.
Healy is punching the two thugs, and then turns around to talk to March
HEALY: March, go. I got this.
March wraps the movie can in some cloth, grabs it and runs away as Healy continues fighting the thugs. He passes by John Boy finishing off the guard, by punching him more and then shooting him. He then turns, seeing March leaving...

Cut to CONVENTION ROOM
...March runs down the escalator, jumps off it into a table, which flips and drops him on the floor. Luckily, March also misses being shot by John Boy as he's picking himself up. March runs, another bullet hits the wall next to March, and when he turns around a bit, John Boy hits right in the film can, the impact pushing March into the window behind him. He breaks the window, and while falling the can slips from his hands. March crawls after the rolling can as it falls down the balcony....

Cut to ENTRANCE
...crashing through a glass ceiling atop a car below. Sliding to stand on the street, March is hit by one of Paulsen's men, who runs towards the can and grabs it. Just as March gets near the guy, bullets hit near him.

Cut to BALCONY
It's John Boy in a nearby balcony.
HEALY: Hey!
John Boy turns to see who yelled, it's Healy, who jumps on him, making John Boy drop his gun.

Cut to ENTRANCE
Down on the street, March is running when a taxi passenger opens his door, pushing March towards a nearby car.
PASSENGER: Hey!
After hitting the parked car, March is hit by a moving one. The driver honks and screams as March rolls and falls with his back at the windshield. Eventually March sees the man with the film and runs towards him. He grabs him by the shoulder, then in the waist.
MAN: Run! Just run!

Cut to BALCONY
Healy and John Boy keep on fighting. When Healy flips John Boy over, he sees a grenade pin around his finger. As he runs away, John Boy is struggling to takes off his jacket.

Cut to ENTRANCE
The thug attacked by March finally lets the can loose. Another one of Paulsen's men goes out the door at tries shooting at March, hitting a nearby car. Eventually John-Boy's jacket falls on this thug's arm, exploding.

Cut to BALCONY
John Boy jumps back at the flames rise from the street, and is tackled by Healy. Holly comes by the door, sees Healy atop John-Boy, choking him.
HOLLY: Mr Healy, what are you doing?
HEALY: Go away, Holly.
HOLLY: Healy, stop. You don't have to kill him.
John Boy tries fighting back, but fails.
HOLLY: Mr Healy, if you kill this man, I will never speak to you again.
Healy turns to stare at Holly...

Cut to ENTRANCE
Down on the street March tumbles towards the can. As he grabs it, the message on his hand now reads something different as one word is smudged : "YOU WILL BE HAPPY". He GROANS.

Cut to BALCONY
...and lets off of John Boy's throat. He COUGHS
HEALY: Congratulations, buddy. You owe your life to a 13-year-old girl.
Healy then punches him unconscious. Holly approaches Healy. Down in the street, March holds up the film can in triumph. Healy gets up, Holly smiles. Afterwards, March extends the pinky from his broken hand to Holly. She replies with the same gesture. March sits on the sidewalk, his back towards a parked car. On the balcony, Healy pats Holly in the head.
HEALY: Come on, let's go down and see your dad.
They walk back inside

Cut to ENTRANCE
The SIRENS WAIL.
MARCH: And that would be the cops.
March grabs a cigarette as the police cars park in front of the hotel. The cops from the first car go for him as March lights the cigarette.
OFFICER: Sir? Sir, are you all right? Sir, is anyone left in the building?
OFFICER 2: He's not responsive.
OFFICER: All right, let's find out who else is...
MARCH:(VO): And sometimes, sometimes... You just win.

Cut to DEPT. OF JUSTICE
March and Healy are sitting in the reception's chairs. Healy then sees Judith is approaching...
HEALY: Jesus Christ. Oh, shit.
MARCH: You know what? Don't even talk to her. Don't even look at her, man.
March puts on his shades just as Judith sits in chairs backing them.
MARCH: Fuck.
JUDITH: Oh, boys, boys. You really think you got something done here. Do you have a clue what just happened? It was protocol. I followed protocol.
(MARCH SPEAKING FAKE GERMAN)
JUDITH:What's wrong with him?
HEALY: I believe he's making a connection between you and Adolf Hitler.
JUDITH: Read the fucking newspaper. What's good for Detroit is good for America.
HEALY: Unbelievable.
JUDITH:The America I love owes its life to the Big Three.
HEALY:But it's all right for you to fail your daughter?
JUDITH:Detroit had her killed.
MARCH: I think I read about that. The whole city got together, took a vote. Big turnout.
JUDITH:I wanted her safe. That's why I hired you two.
HEALY:You're going to jail, Mrs Kuttner.
JUDITH:I might be going to jail, but it won't make a difference. You can't take Detroit down.And if I'm not there to take care of it, someone else will be.
MARCH: Okay. Well, we shall see.

Cut to STREET
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING as March drives to a bar. It's Christmas season,and a Santa Claus is on the street)
SANTA: Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas!

Cut to BAR
Inside the bar, March finds Holly besides the doorstep.
MARCH: Jesus. Where is he?
Holly points offscreen. Healy is smoking a cigar at the bar counter. March takes a seat besides him.
MARCH: Scotch.
HEALY: Did you see the TV?
MARCH:Yeah, I saw.
HEALY: They're gonna let them off,the car companies, scot-free. Not enough evidence of collusion, you see.
MARCH:I heard.
HEALY: The sun went up, the sun went down. Nothing changes, just like you said.
MARCH:Look, they got away with it. Big surprise, you know?(SIGHS) People are stupid. But they're not that stupid. The point is five years tops, we're all driving electric cars from Japan, anyway. Mark my words. Look at this. [grabs his tie] You ever see the bad-breath tie? [EXHALES on the tie, then puts in front of Healy's mouth] Breathe on it.
Healy giggles, then exhales, leading the tie to shrivel. Healy laughs.
MARCH: Works every time. Kills Holly. At least you're drinking again.
HEALY:Yeah. I feel great.
MARCH:You know, nobody got hurt.
HEALY:A few people got hurt.
MARCH:I'm saying I think they died quickly, though, so I don't think that they got hurt. [takes out a newspaper] Look at this.
He shows an ad featuring caricatures of both, 'The Nice Guys Agency'
MARCH:I'm sorry you look Filipino.
HEALY:I do. Or I look Mexican.
MARCH:And we already got our first case. Old lady in Glendale.
HEALY:Mmm-hmm.
MARCH:Thinks her husband's sleeping with Lynda Carter.
HEALY:Wonder Woman?
MARCH:Or Lynda Carter. That's what we have to figure out.
HEALY:Right.
MARCH:But he's 82, so it's time-sensitive. What do you say?
A bee is BUZZING on the counter.
MARCH: Shit.
Tries to hit the bee with the paper, then CLEARS THROAT. Healy gets a drink bottle to toast with March's scotch glass.
MARCH: To the birds.
HEALY: Hallelujah.
March sips from the glass, Healy chugs straight from the bottle.

END CREDITS