(Outside the room. James Corden as Mia sits next to Ryan Gosling as Sebastian on a sofa.)

[Audience laughter]

Female staff: Mia?

(Mia stands up and enters the room.)

Amy: I’m Amy and this is Frank.

Frank: Hi, how are you?

Amy: I’m glad we found you.

Mia: Me too.

Amy: The film shoots in Paris and we don’t have the script.

Frank: It's gonna be a process. We’re gonna build the character around the actress. It’s a three-month rehearsal and a four-month shoot.

Mia: Okay.

Amy: And we thought that you could just tell us a story.

Mia: About?
Amy: Just tell us anything.

Mia: Anything?

Amy: Yes, tell us a story. You're a storyteller.

Frank: Paint us a picture.

Amy: Whenever you're ready.

[Intro]
A picture? A picture - my film used to be Best Picture.
I remember it was Oscar night.
Faye Dunaway said 'La La Land' won.
I remember our whole team jumped on the stage, leapt without looking and gave speeches.
Until the Pricewaterhouse Coopers guys came up and said Moonlight's the winner.
Then we all lost our damn mind.

[Verse]
Was this a mix-up?
A conspiracy? A fix-up?
Or was Warren Beatty just blind?

[Chorus 1]
Here's to the ones who lose
God, I need so much booze
Here's to the ones who hope
Who switched that envelope
[Bridge]
They told them
Moonlight come give your speech
On your film about handjobs on the beach
This result doesn't seem right
Oscars used to be so white
So here's to the Ryans who hold back from cryin'
Producers and Chrissy Teigen's man

[Chorus 2]
And here's to my sense of shock
More stunned than The Rock
Here's to unfortunate souls
Not happy like that song from Trolls

[Outro]
I trace it all back to that show
Whatever happened I still don't know
Smiling through it
I don't want to do it again