[Intro: Radio]
Attention passengers please listen
To an important message by your flight's captain

[Chorus: Zayn]
Ima jihadi da ba dee da ba dum
My name is Zayn and I came here with some bombs
So while I kill everyone
The One direction this airplane is gonna fly is down
(down, down, down, down, down)
Not gonna fly home
(home, home, home, home, home)
We're gonna die bro
(bro, bro, bro, bro, bro)
The one direction this airplane is gonna fly is down

[Post-Chorus: Zayn, Harry, Louis, Niall, (Liam)]
One day I met my friends in Londonistan
Harry Bols
Louis B. Gay
Niall Eleven
(Liam Bitchtits)
We started a group together
And called it Al Qaedirection
The one direction this airplane is gonna fly down
[Verse 1: Harry, Louis, Zayn Niall (All)]
Whats up, chippy chop
I am Louis, I like caulk
I am Zayn from Iraq
I run this shit, I call the shots
You're all my hostages, this is a Jihad (Oh no)
If u cooperate I'll show u my nuts (Let's go)

[Pre-Chorus: Niall, Liam, Zayn, Louis (All)]
I just heard X-factor's tonight, yeah
Winners gets flown to the United States
Then we could kill all of the whites (uh huh)
Put your pants on, this is our time

[Chorus: All, Zayn]
Ima jihadi da ba dee da ba dum
My name is Zayn and I came here with some bombs
So while I kill everyone
The one direction this airplane is gonna fly is down
(down, down, down, down, down)
Not gonna fly home
(home, home, home, home, home)
We're gonna die bro
(bro, bro, bro, bro, bro)
The one direction this airplane is gonna fly is down
[Post-Chorus: Simon Cowell, Zayn, All]
That was absolutely dreadful
Just quite possibly the worst thing I heard in my entire life
You were saying?
That was fantastic, pack you're bags boys
You're going to America!
The one direction this airplane is gonna fly is down

[Verse 2: Harry, Louis, Liam, Niall, (Zayn/All)]
Oh gosh, this is posh
Where's the potty, I must wash
Are there no crumpets to nosh?
This what they call a toothbrush?
(This shitty country did some terrible stuff) (you know)
(It would be funny if we blow it all up) (Fo sho)

[Pre-Chorus: Zayn, Niall, (All)]
The award show's starting tonight (yeah)
We'll perform and blow ourselves up and die
I'm not sure that I want to die, uh uh
Russell Brand is the host
Oh, then alright

[Interlude: Russell Brand]
Next up we got Al Qaedirection
With their hit single, "Ima Jihadi Da Ba Dee Da Ba Dum"
[Chorus: All, Zayn Harry, Louis, Niall & Liam]
Ima jihadi da ba dee da ba dum
My name is Zayn and I came here with some bombs
So while I kill everyone
The one direction this airplane is gonna fly is down
Ima jihadi da ba dee da ba dum (Brooo, br, br, br brooooo)
My name is Zayn and I came here with some bombs (Br, br, br, br broooooo)
So while I kill everyone (Bro, br, br brooo)
The one direction this airplane is gonna fly is down (Bro, br, br brooo, br, brooooo)

[Outro: Zayn]
Well that is my story bro
A story of life friendship, and Jihad
Now I'm in paradise with Uncle Osama, and 72 directioners
The one direction this airplane is gonna fly is down