Billy Joe Shaver
The Real Deal
With a halo of gnats around my cotton-pickin' head
You never even listened to a single word I said
You sit there on your pompous ass and click your fancy heels
Contemplate another piece of art that you can steal

Yeah, you're rich and you're good-lookin' and outstanding in your field
But I'm the real deal, no you can't know how I feel
'Cause I'm the real, real real deal
Ah, ya bet your sweet petuti I'm the real deal

You may always be rich and I may always be poor
You're the kind that never gets enough of wantin' more
Hittin' on my friends, swingin' on my doors
Here's a little somethin's gonna even up the score

Try as you may you can't know how I feel
'Cause I'm the real deal, oh you can't know how I feel
'Cause I'm the real, real, real deal
Ah, ya bet your sweet petuti I'm the real deal

I used to chop that cotton sometimes leanin' on my hoe
But we all know a hoe ain't just a hoe anymore
You educated gals are 'sposed to be so damned smart
Sometimes you fool around and get the horse behind the cart

I got one foot in the grave the other 'un on a 'nanner peel
But I'm the real deal, I can make you young girls squeal
'Cause I'm the real, real real deal
You bet your sweet petuti I'm the real deal